Herbsman's Hut

“Awake the vivid”

2011-08-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

I feel the strain on my neck

Overcome

The anger

Swelling in my throat

Smiling at the sky

As if to gloat

I can swallow my pride

As the flames float

A fire so bright

It lights up the night

The final battle

And I won this fight

Yet I've lost it all.

As I smell the smoke on my robes

The fuel on my shawl

Burns on my hands

As I stand tall

Completely at peace

Bleeding to sleep

As the last of the tears

Burns through my pupils

Turning ash to the lessons

That will never be fruitful

Tracing my cheek

To a smirk too wide

For a man who is watching

His empire die.

Reflecting

On the beginning of the night

The last fight

And my breaking point

As the tip of her dagger

Broke my skin

And I could only stand still

In love with her eyes

But broken within

That beautiful feel

Of salted steel

Barely touching my heart

Yet breaking the seal

I could only smile

Watching forever achieved

No longer burdened

With my Achilles heel

I kept to my promise

And I am finally relieved
This must be forever
And I always believed.

“So why leave a trace?”

Says my pride to my heart

“Let me take control

And play my part”

As I pull out the blade

And my heart sprints

The steel coated with my blood

Is now the base to my flint

And each clang

Inspires a smile

That gives way to my fangs

Nostalgia

As though I've been here before

Fiddling my heart strings

'Til my fingers get sore

Consumed by a heat

That I'm growing to adore

Playing a tune
Most foreign to my ears

But pleases my soul.

I feel the strain on my neck

Overcome

The anger

Swelling in my throat

Smiling at the sky

As if to gloat

I can swallow my pride

As the flames float

Then I feel the cold of her palms

Cradle my cheeks
A welcomed sensation
In this rising heat

My pelican fly

To her touch

I am weak

Reading the look in her eyes

She sees defeat
As I try to reassure her
"Persist and Endure,
This pain will turn to your good
By and By
Good bye
My pelican Fly"

And In my last moments

Admiring her poise

I'm distracted
By a cracking noise

Only to see a falling pillar

I am already past
But I can't let it kill her

As I push her out of it's path

I awake
Next to my pelican fly

And her well rested eyes

With yawning smile

Yet only received by my heart

Through the fire in my pride

As she puts her hand on my face

And quenches the flame

The anger subsides

My fear calmed

Taming my pride

And finding a greater peace

Than the satisfaction
In my empires demise.

My pelican fly

Rises
From my nightmares

My pelican fly

Flies
Higher than my despair

My pelican fly

With Phoenix hair

As she kisses life

Back into my Empire.

"What age destroys no art can restore"

2011-06-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

I was bitter once

All because the bigger ones

Ignored the issues they had caused

Upon the little ones...

So they write poems and love letters

Convincing the young

“It will get better.”

I have grown since.

I was bitter then

As the growing men

Accuse the women of being too feminine

Simply to ignore the issues we faced

As a nation

Stagnant

And faceless

As those who fight to protect

Are protested against

And treated like mavericks

Who shot from their hips

And never ask

The “right” questions.

So now the rebel with a cause

Gets caught up

In the image and it's flaws

That he starts to believe

He's to blame for it all...

He knows better

But no one will listen

And why fight the flaw

If all it does

Is make you glisten?

Fame and fortune

All men are weak to it's riches

As he raises his kids with the same resolve

And the children

Now guided in the hate of it all

Shoot

only to protect what they know.

Rebellion is in the blood

Not in the mind

What took ages with a pen

Takes hours with a nine

Why bother explain

When their guilt alone

Will pay for the fines?

“I'll be barbosa

If you play jack

Many riches await

For every successful attack

We might lose men

But that's a minor set back

Let them blame us

They'll keep coming back”

And what started so simple

Is now too complex to explain

As the rebel with a cause

Gets caught up in being seen as the “boss”

That he starts to believe

He's still fighting with his cause...

He knows better

But no one cares to listen

So why fight to explain

When everything you do

Is making you glisten?

Yet...

With age comes wisdom

And those who know

Know they are partly to blame

But pride is a beast when coupled with shame

No one man alone

Has the strength to tame

So we start pointing fingers

Spears and guns

As the dying are replaced

By all the little ones

Who are too young to know

Their masculine roles

But they'll learn on the job

“It'll strengthen their bones”

And the older they grow

The more the truth gives way to the status quo

Selective beliefs and stagnant growth.

You see

I was bitter once

All because the bigger ones

Ignored the issues they had caused upon the little ones...

I have grown since

I know better

But it's hard to grasp the truth

In all these love letters.

"Bye Bye to all the noise"

2011-05-31T18:49:00.000-07:00

No one taught me this

All I ever knew

Was the impact of the pace

The speed of the hunt

“Be fastest In the chase

Think quicker on your feet

You catch

And you feed

Destroy

And you leave”

This was the creed

Of the nomad and his steed

But here I am now

Complete in the stillness

Her company

Leaves my being in fulfillment

Sitting under the shade

Wrapped around her ribs

I have found my home

And she sees through my Id

I'm in that type of mood

Where you just sit and sway

Resting partly on her boob

Dreaming my life away

Loving the simple dream

And the soothing of her scent

In love with this being

That leaves my heart content

What is “what you know”

When wisdom unfolds?

I am like any man

Chasing after his greed

Yet she is all I want

And everything that I need

I can build a home here

And that's what her heart pleads

I can grow an empire

And she will be my seed

The spine to what I seek

As I lay my head on her knees

She crowns my dreams

And I surrender to my Queen

"There will be tears, but a few"

2011-05-20T00:01:00.001-07:00

I miss the days old

When a breeze tamed mood

And we'd chase gold

And every rock felt good

Everything that glittered

Was gold...

She could only inspire smiles

The dreams overlapping

The realities of a child

Controlled by old proverbs

Riddles and trials.

I never sought what it wasn't

But rather what it wanted to be

“You can lie to your self

But I know what I seek”

And such innocence taught us

that we should never change dreams

Trust as you should

Love like you must

Be...

And you become.

your rocks will know

What they need to overcome

Don't seek to change the world

Let it grow on its own

And the gold you once sought

Will find it's way home.

My Poem to Her XII

2010-12-22T23:19:00.000-08:00

She is my reality

Yet with her eyes closed

See’s through my day dreams

And five clothes

So i undress her with my eyes

It’s fair play

As we sit side by side

And the chair sways

Too old to make love

And memories fade

Each blink starts a new

And must memorize again

What my intentions intended

We’ve grown old

awaiting “The End”

But for now

She makes me feel young

Living for the moments that fade.

The simplest form of what it could be

My baby

In my arms

Asleep

As i watch my Heart’s goal

Realized

And all along

I’ve been dreaming of getting old

While she stays up

And forever unfolds

Il Corvo

2010-11-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

It’s amazing
How a slight flaw in the lesson
Warps and transforms
Then wisdom grows old
And while in it’s steady growth
Buckles and folds
Too big for its own structure
Fearless and blind
Constructing its own demise.

She’s amazing
The full bodied crow
Reckless in its certainty
That it flies in any weather
That even nature gives way
Just to admire its brilliant feathers
It cannot be tamed
While simple men simply stare
And hide their shame
A lust too obvious
That it should never be addressed
Nature must give way
This lust should not be expressed.

It’s amazing
The logic that makes sense
Insanely executed
Actions without a purpose
Men with rich excuses
That the crow’s left to know
She is useless
Lessons learned disguised with amusement
Smiles and grins painted on
To supplement the pain
As she’s reminded
“This is fun
You fly
We’ll just ride on back ah ya tail”
But she catches on to their movements
So instead of being pissed on
She will start to abuse them

It’s amazing
Leaving chests depressed from the lack of breath
Just from watching her soar
Nothing she does is timeless
But everyone adores
Her balancing act
Tipping scales just to be saved and restored

It’s amazing
Watching the hunter get excited
Picking up the feathers
Smiling
As this bird knew all along
She should be admired
She should be desired
The span of her wings alone
Should leave men inspired
Claims to be the fliest
Highest of high birds
She "rests on the mother fucking SUN"
Whenever she gets tired

It’s amazing
Watching something this beautiful
Simply become a statement
Something to be owned
A trophy
Chased down to be caged
But she’s too quick in the moments
She has no weakness to be exploited
So she keeps on soaring
Caught up in the game
Knee deep in her glory
And if she falls No worries
Some one will catch her.

It’s amazing
Watching the winds become taxing
Time flies past and
No moments left for relaxing
It’s sad really
Watching a hunter build an arrow
With the youth of her old feathers
Mistakes of her past simply wont let up
Studied and memorized
Plotted against and set up
Tuning the sky into her cage
No one left to break her fall
As she slowly starts to fade
And the fast pace Becomes harder to bare
The rain nowadays
Crashes and tears
The once “Beautiful wears”
As they each take aim
Just to take claim of forever

The crow killed with an arrow
Made from her own feathers.

8mm

2010-10-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

I watch the lives of my people
And this movie is funny
A silent film of ancient poems
Love lust and money
I laugh
demoniacal
Systematically out of my mind
I am unconquerable
Unlike what this movie defines
Fuck JVC
I grab my CANON and run
Just to rewind TIME
So when people stop to watch this
I will blow their minds
Cause I’m too young to understand the bullshit that they try to feed me
So I abuse it so freely
Old enough to know
This movie IS ME
I design the plot
Climax when I want
And conclude with a smile

So I’m willing to be the fool
Their wisdom can not allow for
As they engage in a war
They once stated
“Only fools will fight”
Knowing my youth can rewrite the events of my past
As I age
They did the same
But hide behind the facade of a sage
As if they “CAN” be ignorant
But they know better
So I snicker
Like a dyke amongst catholics priests
I am
Where their theories and hypocrisy meet

Mission impossible
They preaching as the message explodes
Exploring which lies they can sneak into the codes
“TO BE A REAL MAN blah skippity blah blah blah”
The instructions amuse me
How do you go from programing ancient wisdom in to a child
Then live with what you warned of with a smile?
Force feeding the future
One logic alone makes sense
Forcing the young kids
To only think in defense
So the offensive actions
Are painted as excusable events
And naturally
Hypocrisy offends
So I am a necessary evil
A movement toward sequels
The close to an empire
Where clothes decorate egos
Part of a motion picture
That’s past a thousand words
Spoken therapy in each of my pixels
THERE ARE NO BLURS
A silent film like no other
I will be heard.

Dear tradition....fuck you

2010-10-12T19:10:00.001-07:00

I fear my foresight
For it sees forks in my path
One with
One without
And one just out of my grasp

I fear my size on this journey
My insignificance devours me
I see footprints
Of all the men before me
And these mountains obstruct
What I’m told is destiny
My fore fathers designed these
Paths with their feet
And I’m too small to point out all of the flaws
But all the possibilities I see
Are yet to be achieved

They didn’t have Ipods
So why must I carry drums
The traditions confuse me
But i do it
Cause I don’t want to seem dumb
“Only fools try to out wit wisdom”
I am not no fool

I fear my powers and what I am capable of
I can do without
What they waited to do with love
I can do without
What they waited to build the strength for

I fear the fork
Because they say it’s a fork
I see a garden with plenty of time for exploration
They see a labyrinth with traps amongst the decoration
They talk of limiting fears in man
yet refuse to let me exercise the wisdom
Selective to their choices
we must live within chosen colors in their prism
Their designs and their visions
You can’t shine a new light
And not face resistance
So now I see a fence
Instead of a forked path
And when i climb over this shit
They can all kiss my ass

Impetus

2010-10-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

"Soul locked" behind eye lids
So she doesn’t see
That I am the seams
Holding her dreams and realities
To the same fabric

Call me her catalyst

I keep her warm and ecstatic
As I sink into her
Like she’s a Tempurpedic mattress
Yet her head’s on my chest
Listening to classics
Laughing
Clawing at my rib cage
Searching for the magic
And my mind's so retarded
It thinks she's playing melodies with my heart strings
That keeps my soul dancing
Happy is this old soul
That she calls mona’stic
She is my goddess

As her mind creates
I realize it
Using my own heart strings
To keep it all bonded
And pressed against her skin
So even if we sin
No god can say
They didn’t see it coming
But for now
We just dancing.

The waltz

2010-10-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

I’m stuck with the heart of a dreamer
And this is ignorant

Inconsiderate
With it’s relentless pursuit of infinite
Thumping along insisting in
A movement that refuses
Sitting still
Persisting that “WE”
Need an optimist
As it constantly beats against
My ribs
“An optimist is a catch”
And I’m the bait it seems
“Lay on this hook made of gold
At the end of my silver strings”

The poet now a puppet to his heart’s demands
Forced to believe that the beats need a dance
And the dancer with a fan
Will have an optimist in hand
As she gets up
Extending her balance to my palms
And my beating heart
Pauses to breath

This stillness is key
It silences the dreams
To enjoy the real
And that's all that I need.

She understands this heart better that I
With ease
As she eases further in
The joys in him
Now extending to a grin
As the dance
To me
Starts tasting sweet
And I can start to feel my face
Make way for my teeth

A movement unique to a uniformed beat
Finding a motion that feels effortlessly still

As she dances with my heart
And I dance with hers
I finally get it

Her heart all long
Was seeking a cynic

The Adam, and The Hawa

2010-10-09T15:06:00.000-07:00

I stand to lose it all
My dreams and my palm trees

But I refuse to believe
Her love will distract me
So I scheme and I plot
Cause I stand to lose my heart
And that
I will Not
I’ve done it before
Twice is a lot

Yet here we are...
She constantly distracts me
And my heart starts subtracting
away from me
As it sums her up
And it’s a beautiful flow
How the extension of my void
Grants her the room to grow

She is so Beautiful

Scattering the pieces of my heart
All over her soul
A canvas of sorts
As my painter explores
A type of growth
That quenches both of our greed

She becomes the land
And I am the seed

Little pieces of me
Scattered in the field
As I hope to be
The one tree that bares
The one fruit she will eat

So when we get kicked out of paradise
I will forever have
Heaven with me
Until we become the emptiness
Watching our story repeat
Love without logic
Or reason to be

Yet we are.

Themis

2010-10-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

They measure their worth
on a lateral scale
When one succeeds
the other must fail
No choice but to oblige
this “judicious” physics
numbers don’t lie
so the masses just mimic
what the t.v. predicts
as wealthy men insist
“we are for the people”

As these people
sit to reminisce on the thoughts of god
They find humility on their plane
falling in love with the flaws.

'The blind bird watcher, and the caged crow'

2010-09-30T17:47:00.000-07:00

“I’m sorry little bird
Please forgive me
In my fore sight
Vision never let me be me
And unfortunately
All my sight seeing
Led to your defeat

Falling apart ain’t easy
I know
But at least you’re with me

I see now
The outward look to fix my mistakes
Only heightens my walls
And your heart aches
Ensuring me the wide span of acres
Without reason to escape
Feeling safe in a fortune
Born of false fate
A prisoner

I meant well
But I lost my own way
My little bird
Gone are the days
When I’d watch you fly past
Everything I crave
Now we’re both in love
And it stays strange
“Behind these great walls
Live the incredible slaves”
Love so flawless
It will spoil if it stays
As you fly in circles
For days
While I
On my back
Stare at the sun and it’s rays
Watching your negatives play
Displacing the sun to your sail
My little bird
Leading my vision astray

And my gluttonous heart
Now your home
Craving to see you free
But trapped behind stone
As you fly towards forever
Limited by unknowns
What was once a bridge
Now fences our thrown

I no longer see
What I once held dear
Surrounded by love
Yet blinded by fear
I turned Paradisaea minor
To a caged crow.”

What a weak man controls
A wise man lets go.

Her last trip from the moon.

2010-09-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

It always
has been
And forever
will be

her losing streak

She can’t help it
It’s a flaw in nature
that simply makes her
this weak

Last week
She loved
to moon and back
today
she’s back
And the lover still asks
“Do you love me?”
A conquered beauty
is a soulless rubble
It’s genetics

I am built
to simply
Search
seek
destroy

as she
plants
heels
restores

It could never be
in my memories
as i rewrite
what simply is

And that’s when.....

I have grown
I am humbled
My kingdom
now just rubbles

I thought I won
But she never lost
I face a love
My little heart
could never exhaust

It always has been
and forever will be
Her understanding
That restores me

She could never break my heart
and what I once feared and ran from
Now keeps me from falling apart.

As seen on T.V.

2010-08-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

It always starts simple
The screen plays
Then disaster strikes
And everyone strays

She was raised right
Way back when
Childhood full of dolls
And stable parenting
From the sand box
To pom poms on her hips
Upper middle class
Where life was a gift

Not too spoiled
Not too strict

She had it nice
Her dreams couldn't fail
Westward bound
Like Oregon trail

But recession peaks in
And college is a problem
Funding is low
And opportunities ain’t knocking
Uncle sam won’t help
So stripping is an option
She knows it well
Her body is 'a bangin'
Tits in the right place
Ass out of control
Belly full of abs
Without the demeanor of a whore
4 years of a life
That wont stay in the dorms
So every Friday night is
“I aint never done
THIS before”

It always starts simple
Like a screen play
Curtains open
And life starts there
We don’t know “the life of”
And we don’t care
Where is she now?
And where is she heading?

And she straight Hollywood
Not the least bit phased
Acts according to expectations
She is well raised
“Them niggas” come and go
She stays paid

Picks em like fruit at the groceries
Effortlessly hunted
Just show off half them D’s
Attracted by the valleys and bays
She is a beautiful ray
and they feel the urges to stay
“Them niggas” with the BBm’s
Tight jeans
V-neck
Mr. “see me spend”
She’s the east African gem
Smart
Quick witted
And he’s paying rent
So it’s a win win

Boosting ego’s
Got em drinking off her lips
Phone vibrates
And he's on her hips
“That’s just my boy friend
the nigga aint shit”
Keeps em all guessing
But dude don’t exist
“I’m cheating with you”
Said to all of the vics
They all “the other guy”
And ignorance is bliss
“I aint never done THIS before”
Excusing her tricks

It always starts simple
Like the Iliad
And after money and wars
He knows he’s been had
But what to do
She so beautiful
Eats a carrot a day
And still booty full
Finger fucking her tonsils
So she tan by the pools
Seen at the clubs
The trend setter
Kissing girls on the dance floor
In skin tight leather
Yet
She’s not a dyke
She knows better
She’s African raised
She just hoes clever
He wants to leave
But she's a go getter

It always starts simple
The screen play
What was once black and white
Is now all gray
32 and counting
Things start to give way
Well known
From a long way
Plays the long con
Like an old pimp
It’s all hear say
Well respected in their craft
But they still stay
“If you got it like that
Why you still here?”

It was once simple
Now it’s unclear
The game of choice
Is now unfair
“I aint never done THIS before”
But no body cares.

Ego's TADAA

2010-08-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

I plant poems in my head
And just let em blossom
The beauty of it all
Leaves me feeling awesum

The sum of awe keeps my eyes open
My subconsciousness is in town
Gloating
And I'm Hoping
Like the child at the magic show
Attentive to the movements on center stage
Right before the smoke blows
That I’ll decipher the magician’s trick
And see the trap doors
As he sneaks out the back
Switching with top heavy hoes

Sometimes it seems crazy
Watching my thoughts so hard
But most times it makes sense
Keeping my wits on guard
Watching my own brain
Taking it out of its pretence
Watching every angle
Until I comprehend
I am my own magician
I am my audience

New poems breed
Like the rabbit out the hat
As the old ones die
Setting up the next act
Leaving carrots on stage
Walking out of my mind
As if saying goodbye
But it ain't really gone
Just simply replaced
This
Done in such a haste
That I can’t bother escape
Trapped in my Enso

So I sit still
As the voodoo takes place
Let it do its thing
I can only trust my self
Everything else is a lie
And everyone is out for them selves
Each poem living
Like pickled hearts on my shelves
Steady beats and melodies
Catering to it’s own health
As my nourishments feeds
What is soon to be my wealth

The ugly truth is
Once I understand it
It no longer impresses me

TADAA
Out comes a hoe with glitter on her chest
Dazzling smile
And eyes to suggest
The magician knows magic
And we can not protest

The tits are to distract me from the shimmering
Blouse tightly fitted so the mirrors blend in
Everything black
Against her light skin
And like lightning
The magician is behind the audience
Smiling
And so I smile back
“YOU GOT ME”
The magician knew
I’d be watching
Adapting
To the angles I watch from
And gasping
Holding my breath to trap him
Watching
Finding holes in what he has mastered
A conflict
Full of cloak and daggers

It seems insane
But it all adds up
I sit
I watch
Pretend to know the act
But I simply don’t want to know what’s happening
Distracting myself from what it all means and leave clapping
Enjoying the show
"That shit was MAGIC"

The birth of the "GROW"

2010-06-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

I find “it” hard to believe
Cause I believe the impossible

Life is the obstacle
With it’s boxes and squares and retarded cycles
Limitation decorated with the illusion of limitless
Boundaries and fences
The T.v. says this
The teachers reinforce it all
While parents fear progression
Some unknown
Like when the earth became round
And all hell broke loose
To accept Galileo back into heaven
Or when gravity was discovered
Cause before that apple fell
Everything just hovered

The belief that all is known
This is our comfort zone
“We are comfortable here”
So we call this home
An ego of sorts
Fed by the world as a whole

‘Different’ is the enemy
Yet “we are all unique”
Taught to kids in elementary
Something about chivalry
Robin hood and Hercules
Arthur and the divine comedy
They did the impossible
But within possible limits
Men who were destined to finish
But in today’s “real”
We have statistics
Future forecasts and mathematics
With a calculated “infinite”
It stops
Where the control begins

So the acceptable differences
That makes us all the same
While believing in the unique
“I AM COOL”
Is our shackles and chains

Fearing the fear of not knowing the infinite
So we hide it behind symbols
Too stupid to admit
“We just don’t know”

I believe in more
Infinite is simply not enough
But I’m raised to think in these stats
Too scared to call the bluff
And my strategies are so far ahead of me
That I’m thinking three steps behind my self
Second guessing it all
Cause my subconscious is a slave
To the conditions of the world

My existence came to witness
My own dreams diminished
As they are too big to fit in
The boxes I’ve been clicking
“You can’t be more than one thing
It’s against the programming
Your destiny is defined
You must pick from the options
Cut it out with these passions”

Persistence is my gift
But it makes you wonder
How many futures did this fear send a drift?

"If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must expect to employ methods never before attempted."

The lost nomad's fate

2010-05-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

I am bound by the lessons of the past
That warns of the wisdom in the future
Now here I am
An adult
Ousted from my own land
Cause my ideals do not suit her

And try as I may
I cannot escape the logic and reasons

But to fit in
And live in
What is known as peace in
The land of the silent kings
And dumb poets

I must cave in
And pretend
I want this form
Of freedom
Anything different
Is treason

And the “wisdom”
Once handed down from great men
Who had no investments
But their children
Must be rewritten.

And if that’s not enough
Religion
This “holy” Quraan of silent kings
Is just an opinion
To be used
When it suits em'

This is the movement
They are the future
Defenders
Of their truth
And god
Sometimes

They are the leaders
And followers
The new
That grew under this revision
Who genuinely believe these decisions
Permanently marking the division
Us
against them
As if we're different
Yet
We live behind enemy lines
Spreading “lies”
From far seas
“Them”
Of old poems
And old thoughts
And old ways when old men
Preserved peace
Without pens
But with poems

Words with significance amongst kings
But honored by men
Who knew
This is not their land
But their childrens'

∞

2010-05-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

We sit still
Cause the movements take place in real time
And the theory is
If we don’t move at all
She will stay mine
And that’s a good sign

And in my insecurity
Comes the wealth of my wisdom
Yet still foolish
That it might all come undone

I know better
But I’m just too afraid
Love so strong
That I already feel betrayed

It’s too good to be real
And if I keep it from aging
I will never have to heal

So I’m stuck
Fighting my own wealth of wisdom
That I could become the fool in the story
Who causes the fall of his kingdom.

She sits still
Oblivious to the game in my mind
Too busy enjoying the blind path her love designs
The stillness gives her time to bask in the joys of it all
That the doubts and fears are absent from her fall

She has insecurities
But secure in us
She stands to lose the most
But without this love
Her heart is broken enough
Nothing more I can do
That could be any worse

And when she moves to kiss me
My mind only sees destruction
But my heart never doubts her
It likes her direction
She is my guidance
Better than what I could ever come to understand
She knows how to find us

This is wisdom
What she does without reason
Teaching my mind
Something new exists
I don’t know much about it
But the heart insists

So when she gets up
Extending her hand to come with
I can hear the fear subside
Giving ways to the reasons the heart designs.

We start moving
And I see forever fulfilled
And the ‘time’ I once feared
Now seems to stand still.

Kisses For your eyes.

2010-03-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

I’m in love, and it’s destroying me.
It rains here, with cool winds that remind me
Of her breathing.
In snow, I feel her skin.
In the sun I feel her touch.
In the birds I hear her sing, as grasses start dancing
While branches clap
To my smiling.

I like spring.

The feeling of Joy
Overlapping
Cascading
Tumbling
And fading
Only to grow in the silence of her absence
While I take snapshots with my eye lids
And I see
As if for the first time,
The beauty
In all things
And the whole day
It’s one thing
Then another
One blink
Different colors
The clouds
The people
The cars
The steeples
I hated this city just a week ago
And now
Simply beautiful

And as the sun leaves it to the moon
To embellish the dark night
Clouds give way to star light

In sleep, I find her embrace decorated in poems
I can read to her eardrums in the morning
As she rebuilds the “me” she’s destroying.

Baciami Ancora

2010-02-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

You are beautiful
In sight and in blindness
For you
Give me love
I
Could never harness
A heart
I cannot house
And the destiny
Of my wish

And for this
I am grateful

But still
Find the need
In me
To be self fish
And beg of you

One kiss

The birth...Of the the REAL.

2010-01-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

So it would seem

I have grown
Out of my dreams
Into schemes that once seemed insane to me
To simply give everything up
So willingly
For an insignificant seed.

You see

Much like
What sight is to dreams
This seed is to me

To see her would be
A realization of sorts
And of course
I’m too young to realize
All the things that I need
So I swim against streams
But this was different
I was a slave
To my own descent
Falling in love is easy
When it comes naturally
And naturally
When I saw this seed
I saw big fields
Riddled with trees
Grass
Flowers with fat little bees
Butterflies that seemed drunk on the breeze
Spastic flight patterns
But they paint a vivid image
With ease
Gliding in a coordinated tease
Painted for me

And with a vision like this
It would be stupid of me
To go back upstream
To unrealized dreams

This seed
Is not special to me
Specifically

If anything
She’ll grow with or with out me
And with or without me she’ll see this field
Come to be as big as I’ve seen

While I
The single drop in the stream
Swam
Stuck in my own dreams

But I saw her

She simply is
Oblivious to what she is destined to be

I was a drop
And
She was a seed
And our size
Obliged
An insignificance to what we could be
But now I see.

As I swim to my destiny
Uninterested in the role she will play to the field
I don’t need to be seen
I know what I see
I believe not
In what I am shown
Not even by my own dreams

So the trees
The butterflies
The grass and greens
Are not for me
I want to land at her feet
And be her reason to sprout roots
And eventually beets
Cause I have come to know
With eyes wide awake
She’ll bare STARS for fruit
And an abundance of direction to eat
And when I play my role
And destiny is achieved
My journey will end by her feet
As "we" grow to be
Bigger than big
Admiring all the stars
My vision can eat.

"Chains chains chains"

2010-01-10T14:26:00.001-08:00

Come with me
Let me show you a world that is rarely seen
Stagnant nomads with dying dreams
Dreaming only of death
Cause we only believe what we see
Sight and vision bleed through tears
And land beneath our feet
We walk past our mistakes
With stagnant hoof beats

We’re not where we’re meant to be
But still
We’re carelessly free
The kind of freedom that only death can defeat
Yet we reproduce to kill
Feeding our youth a disease
And kill the productive dreams

No one grows here
We die with old wisdom
Without reason to be

I’m no different
I just can’t register defeat
And naturally
I try to walk past the features that keep me stagnant
I fall off my horse
But it’s hard to stand up
When your voice is too weak
And you know better than to speak
Cause I’ve seen it done before
And if you’re in the wrong clique
It’ll cost a life
And life’s too sweet

See that corner
Those are the elders with bulletproof skin
They don’t know fear
There’s nothing they haven’t seen
But the problem it seems
Is their counter parts are showing us things
That we’re too young to dream
And our young hearts can’t manage the nightmares needed to balance the scenes
So we live a reality that destroy the structures we need

They don’t know fear
Because they can’t be killed
But their families will
And at their age
It’s not worth sacrificing what they have built

And it’s hard to trust a man who’s protecting his history
When he knows it’s a lie
Yet they lie with ease
So their children can grow to protect what they were told to believe
Is absolute…

If you look back here
You’ll find that we’re our own fault
We depend on the old folks
And we can see the lies
Beautiful poetry
Decorating an old hoax
A history retold
Like an inside joke
As hope fades and the laughter evokes
Those in that corner to remember
They’ve let us down
As we brandish our arrogance
And shielding pride
They can say something
But they’d have to be louder than the lies we were led to believe
And that would cost the lives with their blood ties to bleed

So for now
We’ll stay killing everything else
As everything else kills what ever is left
And when every one’s dead…
Well…
We don’t know yet.

Identitiy Crisis

2009-12-02T22:29:00.001-08:00

Who are you exactly??
Many a times I’ve asked this
And the answers I get back just stays too distracting
And naturally they ask me
"Well who are you?"
Truth is
I’m not me
I’m everything the people around me
Can’t be
Yet I’m not different
Just happy
And honest
And not restricted to answers I’m trained to regurgitate when one asks me
“Who are you exactly?”
Cause I know clans...but they can't know me

I used to be the shit they train little African kids to grow up looking at blindly
Some future they design but can’t be
And never will
It can’t
Not because we don’t want it
But they won’t let us grow to see it
And manipulated to become the same thing they warned us against as kid
Pretending they want FOR US what we will never see
When in reality
How things are
Is how they want it
NEEDED
In order for their perception of the world to exist
Through us
Teaching the children they mean well
But reality is a bitch when there's no more lies to sell
So now that we've out grown the worst they can imagine
They find God
And start hiding
Now we can't find them
And seeing as how we can’t find what we sought from this “wise” chatter
I started listening
Because sight was failing what vision I was handed as a child without a choice in the matter
I don’t see the big or bigger picture
I know what is
It all starts with the fathers
A figure taught
To be a man, he must make men
“Nin raag”
Strong belligerent ignorant mother fuckers
Who just DO
And DO NOT ask

And in listening
I started hearing shit I couldn’t believe
Like God
I hear of him, but don’t believe in him
And can you blame me?
Everything we live by
Raised and built by
Is fading
It never existed

We’re said to be cultured
But it’s long been shifted
Moved to feed the greed of lonely men who can’t breed ignorance
So they must teach it
We’re pure at birth
But God Damn we’re stupid
And wisdom dictates the fool must heed
Assigning the elders as the wise
So we foolishly read
The scriptures they assign to mold our needs
To only suit them
Scholars amongst men
As we smile at the proverb
Deen
And scriptures
Silencing our innocence
Loving the distinct taste of direction
Thinking we know something bigger than ourselves
When in truth
We’re sacrificing our own wealth
Because
“We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors; we borrow it from our Children”

The few children that know die
Knowing they can't change shit that doesn't want to be changed
And those who can change it
Grow to become changed by an environment manipulated by dead men without names
But great identities
And those who are still alive are too ashamed to admit they caused this shit
So they sit in silence acting like God has a plan and we must adhere to it

Who am I?

I'm one of the few that knows
The future we're living was determined through the actions of men who hate what we knew about ourselves at a young age
So they changed it
And now ashamed by the ignorance of their youth
Blame us for something we were born into
Enslaved with pride and a culture that doesn't know when to die and we can't kill it
Because it's our identity
And unlike the folklore
Faith and religion is shit no man truly lives by
So we're stuck guided by lies and old men with false hope and dangerous pride
And in the rare case we do resort to deen...well
God doesn’t respond to lies.

And the Nomad Kept Walking.

2009-10-11T12:13:00.001-07:00

Under normal circumstances
My circumstance would give way to the greatness I aim to achieve

I wasn’t born to think
Thoughts already exist
I am to add to this

Add onto what our ancestors already built

I would know love when I chose to wear my heart on my sleeves
I would know caution when I drank tea amongst thieves
I would know wisdom amongst fools
And be foolish enough to listen when the wise chose to speak

Things are
As they have always been

So I cannot
In any way
Be a product of my environment
Although I’m a product of the African Horn
And partially proud of it

SHE IS NOT ME
Nor am I Her

Environments and nomads never once dwelled in monogamy
And I am not nearly foolish enough to prescribe to the downfall of empires

It’s not our way to build tall walls
Only bridges and peace
It’s why we’re The Nation of Poets

We subscribe only to peace
As it was once common knowledge

WISDOM NEVER REPEATS
Once applied
It simply is

But a fool with an idea brighter than truth
Should be feared more than the gun slinging youth

So
Being a child myself
I’d like to reiterate

I AM NOT A PRODUCT OF MY ENVIRONMENT

Have you seen it lately?

She hurts
We pain
THIS IS THE CREED
Yet
Lately
Wisdom bleeds

And only fools prescribe to the scriptures of thieves
And if it is my loss because I do not “Believe”
Then so be it
I accept being “suju”
Or better yet “The fool”
And grant you the stage to speak
But please
Share this wisdom with me on my return
But sadly
For now
I must flee
With no plans to return
Yet trod the same pace my ancestors did
When they found this land
That your wisdom has reduced to debris

Wisdom never repeats
And if it does
It is not the wisdom for me
Once is plenty
Twice provokes the use of feet

Thank God We're nomads
And believe in
PEACE
I'm out.

Falling Mon.Star

2009-09-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

My angel trips a lot
Constantly
Grabbing at me

Brown eyes
Surprised
And just weak in the knees
But it makes me smile
Knowing
She believes in me

Yet it’s sad
To see her with her trusting palms
Almost always reaching up
Interrupting calm
As if all she can do
Is appeal to harm
But right before she falls
She seeks my arm

Which is a shallow solution
To such a complicated problem
I’m falling apart too
Becoming one of the lost ones
Who trusts in the blindness
Content in the falling

At least she has wings
All I have is my arms

Yet every time she extends hers
I take a hold of her palms
Without logic or cause
I find peace in our flaws
Our flaws keep me calm
So she keeps reaching for more
As I float and wonder
“What is she reaching for?
She alone has the means
To save us both
Cause with her wings in use
The only falling I’ll do
Is falling in love
Or falling asleep”

And it strikes me like lightning
Every time she’s in reach
Cause when I catch her
She keeps me
From falling too deep
And I smile
Knowing she believes in me
As she free falls again
When the going’s too sweet
And I’ll catch her in time
So she never knows defeat
Or the earthly ground
Nor the use of her feet.

Nawo Nawo

2009-05-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

My mother
Is a child
Without a mother
An orphan
Lost in shades of colors
That once waved
Amongst blood sweat and tears
Carried by winds but “kept” us there…
Past tense
Cause back then
She would be smiling
In her mothers hands
Because she was too young
To take part in dance
But wait, she would wait

She knew there would come a time
When she could dance
To her mother’s rhymes
Yet…
It never came

Time passed
And things became strange
Peace became foreign
Clans started to change
Unity started to fade
And new flags fluttered

Astounding

How each clan
Identifies with new colors
Punt and what’s his name’s old mother

As “The lost star”
Still waves on mountain tops
While tears kneel on moms cheeks
And begs god
To make it stop
“Wakutugeyna Illaheyo
Calaankeyna noola humbaar”

But Allah no longer visits
“The nation of poets”
And mothers die there
Before daughters get to know it
And beliefs fade
As hypocrites start to flourish
Men of faith now trump the wisdom of poet

As orphans bare orphans
And we all act righteously
Claiming clans that bare no relevance
Not an ounce of verity

Cause we’ve burned flags scrolls and huts down to the floor
No evidence exists
And no means for the lost to know

We’re Lost
Shimmering stars in lands abroad
Yet when we go home
We’re branded frauds
And the further we stray
The more the hypocrite begs us to remember god
Meanwhile
My hooyoo
Is without a land
An orphan
Yet she stands up firm
But stuck with the misfortune of having a clan
And thus
Forcing her hand
To open

And let go of the sands that she was born upon

She wants to go home
But there’s little left
And patriotism has to be a myth
When your own lust after your death
And you can’t go home
Cause your mom’s mother died
And father’s out there defends a fake throne
And we bare the misfortune to know
All of the solutions and flaws

“Maskiiiiiiiin”

Remember back when
We had guntiino on the hill
Furiously waving
As we displayed our skills
Dancing and drumming and basking in the chill
As winds kissed sweat
And our sweat kept the flags planted on the hills??

Cause I'm forgetting.

just wan fu hol yuh

2009-05-25T08:42:00.001-07:00

She puts pressure on my heart
When she tells me she likes me

Lovely
How her eyes
Spark my senses like lightening

Subtle
How her smile
Keeps my mind sparkling

Wisdom in a gem
That is forever enlightening

AND CALM…

She puts pressure on my heart
When she tells me she missed me

Kisses
That inspires subtle forms of mischief

Harmless
Yet so damned
Addictive

While she reacts
To my actions
Receiving
As predicted

A bit too flawless
Yet
Unmistakably instinctive

AND NICE... ;)
she's nice...

She puts stretch marks on my heart
When she tells me she loves me

As she tuck into my side
To fit me so snugly
Sailing off to sleep
As she guides home
Sending kisses on winds
Ensuring I don't sleep alone
And like a siren who fell in love with the passing sailor
Her magic makes me smile
And brings real to my dreams.

Rapa Pam Pam

2009-05-10T04:56:00.001-07:00

I want to reside in her mind
Yet I don’t seek shelter

Just a train ride home
To feel a little better
Rapa pam pam
Dancing hand in hand
With every reason in my being
To fall in love

131…

I want to reside in her eyes
Yet I don’t seek shelter

Just to be seen
And felt
And drown
In her slanting brown eyes
When she smiles or frowns
Knowing
When we Rapa pam pam
Slow dancing in calm
Her eyes can only see
Our bubble in my palms

132…

I want to reside in her heart
Yet I don’t seek shelter

Just the jingle to my soul
That makes her feel better
Rapa pam pam
While we rub-a-dub and
Steady standing in love
Soaring in place
With our heart strings intertwined
Flying a fearless pace

133…

I want to reside in her soul
My new second home
Ensuring me
I will never be alone
Or old without her
To hold on to
My Rapa pam pam
With her spine on my chest
And her chest on my palm

134…

Taking the train home
Listening to Rapa pam
Pam
I realized
That standing
Is just as scary as the fall
And then noticed
That hope is
Flawed at times
When choices and motives
Conjured in two separate minds
Collide

So I listen to her heart
As it Rapa pam pams
And she sits very still
With my head in her arms
And lets me get lost

135…

We might not see eye to eye
But Rapa pam pam
We just rub-a-dub and
With certitude
Fall and stand

136…

See I want a lot of things
But she knows better than that
She gives me what I need
As I reside in her heart
Giving me enough thoughts
That keeps me intact
Saying she loves me
“To the moon and back”
And I Rapa pam pam
Like Neil Armstrong
Flying my love
Back from the moon
Reeling my heart string back

137…

She is the melody to my soul
That Rapa pam pam
That we keep dancing to
Like an old vinyl
That reminds me of home
An everlasting nostalgia
Spinning for always.

Bamburi Love

2009-05-06T21:39:00.001-07:00

They say Love
Is a losing game…

Not where I'm from
Cause a loser, can't play to win
And to lose
To us
Is almost like a sin

And we don't believe in sins

And while A fool with ideas
Will forever be weak
We know
Wisdom to be key
And we’re born wise

From the day my father gave earth a gift
Love won…
Cause fact of the matter is
I don't run on batteries
And everything I feel
I invest in her arteries
While she enjoys life
And I wise
Due to her mammary
Cause me and love
We is like bosom buddies
And I knew this
Even in my young mind
Cause its all the wise sung
As they unwind
And sing to love
With aged faces
And wrinkled smiles
Telling all the little babies
What left them beguiled

And love won
Twice

So when I heard love lost
While I'm her champion
Well…
I just couldn’t believe
We knew each other
From when we were yay big
Cause where I'm from
Love starts with kids
And every Friday
We sat by the beach
Wash and polish our gifts
As the old sung to us
All the reasons to live
And how can you possibly lose
We we're born with this.

Dahab

2009-04-22T19:30:00.001-07:00

I FOUND A GOLDEN NUGGET

This nugget was mine
And I simply loved it
…
Lovely is
This nugget of mine
Ever since
It
Corrupted my line
Of sight seeing divine
And seeing as how
My eyes
Stay on the shine
I sprinkled my spice
And have it bling in crimson
For this little blinging nugget
Gave me vision
…
This nugget needed love
But it was stuck
I tried striking
Stroking
And being gentle with my brush
But it would not budge
And it didn’t give a fuck
Almost literally
Cause I was in love
And lovely was
What this nugget is
She was that crimson to me
The line in the rainbow that kept the gold from shimmering
But once seen
It’s all you can see
A sight for sore eyes
That made good feel great
And I had enough attention to pay
That this nugget
Would be mine one day
Cause nothing is free
And I was here to stay
And if time is money
Then she was the pay

"As Is"

2009-04-22T19:28:00.001-07:00

My 64-crayon set answers my plight
As I color in my eyes
In the disguise it needs to survive in these times
But it’s hard to produce the colors conceived in my mind

This "happy bubble"
A blend of blue
Maroon and a hint of confused

But then certainty takes over
And I repaint ‘home’
My happy bubble
Is now brown and bronze
Taking the bristles from my pupils
To teach them the “known”
A crayon named ‘Moona’
Now comes in finger paint form

So my pupils and her skin
Share the same tone
Knowing with certainty
That she is “home”

And when I lay eyes on her
It’s like she puts me on
And my eyes become her
In an undressed form

And it’s beautiful

Like Bamburi beach
But right after the storm
Where chaos and flaws
Could never destroy “home”

And she could never be vulnerable due to that type of exposure
Cause in my company
It’s my eyes that clothe her
And I'm from a place
Where fear rarely holds us
And we hold our own
With an iron fist clutch
BUT
This paint requires open palm strokes
Like that wind brushing on palm trees and boats
And I never liked staying inside the box
So I coat everything
Even the curly lox
While she rests on my iris
Like a form fitting hammock
As my pupils absorb oils
And retouch their canvas
No more crayons
We’re on grown up business
A beauty sanctioned
For my eyes alone to witness.

"Wei Wu Wei"

2009-04-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

She likes me
With an opinion of knowing
I am that which she likes

And I couldn’t give a fuck
But it’s hard to deny
That she fits me just right

Cause she cares too much
And I don’t care enough
And this grants us a teetering see saw
That sees us through to be more
Forcing me to give just enough to avoid war
While I ask her to do less
And sit more
But she can’t “JUST”
She’ll wake me up to be conscience
While I fight for her to dream with me
“JUST relax”
But letting go is different to her
As if it’s the opinions
That holds on to her

Something about me
Likes her
And it pulls her in
And with her opinions
Moves right in
Like paint
Onto negative space
She is the bigger picture
While I hold her in place
Which brings her to a still
That I can embrace.

We Have Forever

2009-04-07T21:39:00.001-07:00

Time did
What it always does
Gives me good
And takes away what was
Like the dialects
That dissects mindsets from sects
Except
You…
See
Time came
And we did what we’ve always done
Conform to our environment
And just acted numb
While you spoke of that which I refuse to understand
As you listened to mine with open arms
Then time took what was
And I couldn’t speak any more
My tongue was gone
And I’d just react to yours
A dialect that I have now come to adore
You speak with strength
That can not be ignore
But I did still
Cause we weren’t from the same shores
But you offered sand
That could make time soar
Then…
Time simply ceased
And I slept in peace
As you slept on me
I’d kiss your teeth
When you smiled at me
And kissed your tear
Cause you’re good to me
Kissed the other tear
From your silent glee's
Cause happy was
What ever we feel
And time would simply call this
Unreal
I smiled a lot
Kissed your heels
You smile some back
And made things heal
I held on tighter
When you tried to leave
Pushed you off
When you “aw*” ‘ed at me
Laid you down
So you could sleep with ease
But you’d leave your side
And crawl me
I held on tighter
When you’d come to me
And I’d sleep thinking
You dreamt of me
Yet I knew I was never the one In your dreams
I was the one trusted to run about In your reality
An environment with plenty to feel
And time doesn’t
Because Our Forever is free.

Plan 'B'

2009-03-28T14:08:00.001-07:00

It started raining
So she asks me to dance
And I’d do anything
Just to hold hands

But I realize
I’ve never moved to these beats
Constricting my movements
To two left feet

But see
She loves me
And ignores my faults
And that alone
Teaches my heart
To achieve the waltz

But a man should never move
And prance like this
Yet to her
This is
The dance of kings

So I do
Just like mom said kings do

“Hold tighter to your nation
And bless the good fool”

So I kiss her
Until she is slow to move
And give the sunflower in her hair
Sustenance to root
Trusting me
To place her soul on my boots
As we dance in place
To Love Absolute

The rain stops
Yet we still sway in place
There are no rules here
Just loves embrace.

"A La Belle Etoile : we watch caskets close"

2009-03-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

We’ve known wealth, but gold was never the face of it
We’ve known death, but we’ve never shed tears for it

But now wealth
Contributes to the death of poets
And our people forget the past, losing touch of sonnets
No more singing songs, now we just “shoot” for it
Twenty-one gun salutes just like they do in foreign

Let’s all lose our minds, and live out the warnings
“Aim for the stars,” and wound God for kicks
It doesn’t matter if it’s true, we have a mass to convince

We act like we don’t know, but we all know it
We use to sense beautiful things, now we “throw D’s on em”
De-sensing by destroying
Old poems
Dismantling of emotions so we don’t draw it
Rewriting the fool to be the champion of men

The fools with ideas are somehow our “god send”

The beauty we once knew
Is now the “weak” in us
We want to paint pictures
We’re just not “weak” enough
Losing words from our language to describe the cuts
The depth and the blood and the invisible slugs
It’s no longer our place
To simply know
As if wisdom was reserved
For the old alone

So I spend many nights
Teaching poems to breathe
Because “Strength”
Is a little too strong for me
And “weak”
Loves to make me smile

So I Lie dormant, staring at the stars, using blinks to turn the page
Repaint old poems, before the memory fades
Painting the wealth once found in our women’s eyes
But when I try and sleep, I can feel the memories die
And I know death
I'm just not weak enough to cry.

J'ai Deux Amours

2009-03-01T14:10:00.001-08:00

‘I’ is
My name that no one else can call me
Except for ‘she’
When referencing 'us'
Without the use of we
Saying 'I'
When she means us
And 'You' as an extension of the things
'She' posses

So direct
Making me believe in things
‘I’ couldn’t believe
Like at nighttime
On a nightly basis
‘She’
Makes sure to send me smiley faces
With ‘I’ love you
Face lifts
To uplift the indifferent expression
My face be painting
Before going to sleep

But now ‘I’ go to sleep
Dissecting saying
Like

‘I’ love 'You'

Calling me by a name
That only ‘She’ could
With love

And ‘She’
She is my ‘I’s’
Adoring the love she paints for me
And everyone that sees it
Say it’s kind of ugly
The painting is askew
Too unrealistic

Yet ‘I’ love her style
Cause it only pleases me
Having a smiley face
Inspire the chasing of dreams
The 'I' loving of me
for loving 'Her'
Into my schemes

If i were to write about love

2009-02-27T22:01:00.001-08:00

If I were to sit and think and ink the thoughts I gathered of love?
Shiiit…the world would fall apart
Healing broken hearts
To a divinity known as GOD

But yet divinely flawed enough to bare mistakes
Awaiting angels to kill you
Into a rebirth of states
Trial and error
Like its lives at stake
But learning each time
Yet still looking for those chances to take
Again and again
Until you peak at a perfection
Called “Fate”

Umm…
Now that I think of it…
I wouldn’t write about “Love”
I’d write about me
And claim to be
As flawless as love
Yet still flawed enough
Due to that blasphemy

Then

I would tell bitter hearts
That they’re only vex
Cause they can’t possess “ME”
But our time “together”
They miss dearly
And due to that “alone”
They’re mad at me
For being in a state of euphoria
CONSISTENTLY

“You’re not mad at love
You’re mad at its absence”

Listen
If I wrote about love
I would first state
“I AM TEAR”
As if it was my name
Confusing new hearts
Thinking I am insane
Yet when my poem ends
And I leave
Angels would cry
Just to have something to believe
And being that
I chose to be known as love
I’d be all they see
Loving
Infinitely
While I rest in peace
Across their cheeks

Mayn
If I wrote about love
I’d focus on my heart
I’d tell it to love me first
Limitlessly
Apologizing for the ailments I caused it
Flawed it
Due to my younger days
Comparing each “new” with an “old” I lost
Comparing each new
With the repairing costs
And deeming many worthy hearts “unworthy”
Starting my poem with “I’m sorry”
And ending with
“But Thanks for standing by me”

…
Knowing me though
I won’t write about love
I’m too scared to
So I’ll write about the crying angel
And what I wish I could do
Playing the role of “Love”
In stead of the “participating party”
Thus prolonging my patience
For a Goddess that’s worthy
I got one heart to give
And until then
It’s all practice.

(I'm) Inflicted II

2009-02-27T21:59:00.001-08:00

With her

I submit myself to darkness
Heartlessness
With less of ‘I’ heart to posses
Yet
Carefully placed
In her chest
Making ‘YOU’ my rest
And ‘LOVE’ a verb
Only said as a means to confess
But still an action
That submits me to be blessed
Handing her
Myself
Knowing she is WITH
And not against

And like a self fulfilling infinite
She glows
Taking that 'dark'
And turning it to day

As we submerge in rays
Everlasting

For us

I would sell my soul
Lose my mind
And burn my body
Knowing she possess
The best part of me
Protected by my favorite sage
With my heart
Firmly rooted
Under her rib cage

You see
For her

I’d study the language her heart speaks
As I do not know the words
But they render me weak
Having my mind body and soul
At peace
Seeking her lips to complete
The aisles of desires we keep
Yet still at peace
Calm
And Tranquil

Fulfilled

Making love under her lungs
As we fuse to be
A unit
Refusing me
And adopting ‘US’
In greek
Alpha and Omega
Simply complete
While she exhales in arabic roqoy and weak
And I simply breath it in xamar sheng and sweet
Smiling
With knowledge the world affords me
Ying and Yang And "WE"

Without her

I’m a mere shell
With misguided will
No purpose
And dormant skills

I can chisel the ugly out of her dreams
Knowing all she aims for
Is “fardowsa”
While she guides me
Like the North Star
To a dream
I can Only fulfill
With her.

Persistence

2009-02-04T06:18:00.000-08:00

I love you
But a bit dissimilar to the manner that your heart knows
And it’s a little unfamiliar to me
Which shows
But it’s okay
Cause baby I'm trying

No amount of affection that my heart can produce
Will afford yours
But I promise to pay attention
Collect and hoard
Every bit of information
And keep it stored
To nourish our growth
Like an umbilical chord
Later to harvest ‘Us’
And reap the rewards…

I can’t yet
But baby I'm trying

And I accept
With a full understanding of the punishment
Cause I know
It’s the contrasts in life that grants progression
And I hope my progress
Brings into my possession

YOU

The missing piece to a puzzle
That takes a lifetime to solve
Although I don’t know the solution
I know when I'm Loved
Sought
Nurtured and thought of
And for that

Baby I can love

YOU

A little different from the definitive direction it normally takes
This love
Transcends time and space
Eluding all of my logic and defying fate
Too Unfamiliar
Yet it’s my “Happy Place”

My heart
Under your ribcage

Although I don’t know the solution
I understand the pace
We have forever
And forever’s embrace
Eliminating failure
Pain and the unseen disgrace

And with that in mind
Baby I won’t stop trying.

The Sunflower in the Chameleon's Path.

2009-01-17T14:37:00.001-08:00

She interferes with vision

…

Just seeing her smile
Seems to bring me delight
In the sense
That I can’t see past the light

…

My star…
She smiles tonight

…

And no amount of bling bling
Can stop the glistening
To her smile…
That seems to bring things
Like melodic lyrics
For my heart to sing

“Then she kissed my temple
And crowned me King”

…

And I’ve crossed paths - With many a Princess
Whose flaws cast - A shadow over their own strength
And broadcasts – Rough rocky waters ahead
Taking me for some frog -Who when kissed on the head (make a gun with fingers,place on head and pull hammer)
Should just POOF (BANG)
And become a prince instead

BUT
NO THANKS

I’d rather keep Ribbit’ing
Riveting - That one star that keeps glistening
Kissing things – And placing them
On winds

Vivid when – A frog finds peace in his skin
Staring at an angel with rigid wings
As if gliding
And catching winds
Like a kite that extends from his heart strings
With eyes closed
And can Still
Distinguish his Queen
From all else

She loves herself
Allowing her glow
To love selfless

…

Truth is
I’m not even a frog
I’m a blind chameleon
Who got stuck in a fog
And found a star while I was
Praying to God
For a little direction
Out of this façade

And she came
In the middle of day light
Blew me a kiss
And wished me good night

…You see
She interferes with vision

Cause before now
I never knew I was blind
And with one kiss
She unlocked my mind
Now I'm staring at sunflowers
In this path of mine
As if I'm seeing them
For the very fist time.

Damsel Malaika

2009-01-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

She said she doesn’t believe in angels
And mine to her
Were the most useless of words

She says she is not a damsel
But my battle scars
Ensures my “charming” worth

She will fight for me
Since I’m blind in her defense
Blindly defending
Her impenetrable fence
Where “empty” made sense
And “whole”
Had a “false pretense”
A “false”
That many men present
As a thoughtful present
From peaceful peasants
With good intent

So she has reason to treat me
Like an Infringement

But as “Prince charming”
She happens to be
My “investment”

And my boredom
Due to her lack of enemies
Leaves me with time
To write her these nice similes
About little things
She doesn’t want to believe
Like angels

Without wings

Or distraught damsels
With no reason to fret
Simply an idle queen
Awaiting her prince

“Why do you keep handing me poetry
Instead of the usual
Pricey gifts?”

“I have no choice love
I am simply your prince”

She then removes her halo
And tosses it down the castle
Striking me like lightening
As I was no longer ready for battle
Denting my helmet
And piercing my chest
Damaging the love
I was ready to invest
Placing scars in my defenses
Forcing me
To defend my self

Cause I know
An angel with no aura
Can not be trusted

As I hold my damsels halo
And the “love” it crashed in

Wondering “who is my real enemy
And why does she fight me?”

As we face a common enemy
She can not flee

Unless it’s true
That I do
In fact
Bring out the devil in you

Then I need to learn
To love this demon

Since my throne is built for two
And my heart can not replace
The love it builds for you.

Morpheus’s lady fish

2009-01-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

I have her in my atrium
Like my own gold fish

And every three minutes
I get my own kiss

Cause she loves to forget
Where all my gold is

And while she hovers over
Her own treasured chest

She closes her eyes
And marks her "X’s"

Mapping out my favorite spots
With her beautiful lips

It’s not about the gold
Cause that’s the type of fish she is

But rather the tank
And having a destiny she can kiss.

"La Vie en pancake"

2009-01-10T14:55:00.000-08:00

Happy
Is the bee
That laid eyes on a jade colored rose
And froze

In awe

It flew

And even though bees shouldn’t be able to fly
It does
Who knew?

Straight to the heart
Of this one single rose
With open palms
A light fragrance
And a pose

So beautiful

Tilting into winds
Like it’s listening to a musical

Yet
It lets the bee take it’s course

“We all have a role to play”

Wind and rose divorce
Standing still
From sway

As the bee sucks nectar
It finds bliss

And hurts

Painful is the kiss
You will never feel again

As it flies away
Watching jade marry wind
And sway

Overwhelming
When you finally feel alive
As it fills up the combs in the hive
And sting it’s own heart
For after that trip
There was no value to life
Knowing
If ever there was better
It is best to die now
Holding to that moment forever

Happy is comparing the taste of your pancakes
To the honey produced
In the last moments that this bee lived

It’s like it stung you in your eye
And gave you vision
That even a burnt pancake
Has me returning to your kitchen.

Herbsman's "SAGELINESS"

2009-01-10T14:52:00.000-08:00

She battin har eyyyye’s and cross hand on her Teets

See
She say I be lyyyyn’ so she kissin har teeth

Chin-up at the skyyyy while I'm puffin my heath

She know I be hyyyygh and only tolerate freaks

Them with the thick thyyyyghs and jiggly chubby-some cheeks

Popping bubble gum sweets and finger snapin in Z’s

Telling me
I'M RUDE
For behaving so meak

This little gift of gab
Got her tipsy giddy and weak

But she rockin her jabbi
So she feeling RELIGIOUS

With glossy labellum
Looking EXTRA delicious

And I'm really a good boy
Yet I'm feeling so strange

With enough blood in my system
To only fund one brain

So I’m rubbin my eyes cause they tryna get dry

But every time I blink open
Her tities double in size

Her lips throbbing with lies

I don’t wanna hear that bullshit
But they sweet to my ear

Daddy’s lil angel
MVP of the year

The “Most Virginous Peoples”
Like her daddy’s a seer

But I don’t be paying attention
Cause my mind aint clear

So we drop top hijab
Like a 59 chevy

But when I change the radio
She start breathing heavy

On some
“Herby Wat the fuck
…you broke the levee”

Tryna pace passion
So she be callin for brake

And I'm smiling type stoopid
At all the rules I could break

Without climbing the cherry tree
It quivers and shakes

Getting high on patience
Little herby can wait

Mastering my sage
And letting wisdom dictate

To let the fruit freely drop
On my estate.

Confedi park with curly locks

2008-11-26T10:58:00.001-08:00

YO
I fell for her trap
This mother fucker’s wikid
The way she attracts
The beats to my organ
To only play flats
The strings to my heart
Played like a harp
Then whispers in my ear
Like I am her sax

And I
Never wake up from my naps
Weak to her grin
With straws of her hair
Tickling my chin
Smiling wide
As she eases in
To give me this kiss
That blinds me
To sin

Like I don’t know
What her motive really is
Motivated by progress
and growth by "The Kid"

My own little star
And I am on to her

She's not a rap fan
But 'conscience' hits the spot
Yet my Jazz
If fine tuned
Can make her pop

Keeping my eyes on her shape
As she tunes me up
While denying her the pleasure
Of knowing
I am in love
Rightfully so
As she walks off stage
While every instrument in my body
Misbehaves
Staring at her silhouette
Blinded by the light

Yet smile with delight

“My name is Herbie
I’ll play Chameleon tonight
And that was Miss hell.of.a.day
The new love of my life”

As the curtains come down
I open my eyes
To see her smile
Blanket my sky
Kisses me with smiles
While my Love
Becomes Realized
Between naps at the park
With my head on her thighs.

Shining Star

2008-11-05T16:15:00.001-08:00

In my journey
I learned a great many things

Profoundly
Perfected my spreading wings

And a hawk out of its nest
Can no longer be named
“Haitam”

Growing into a man
With his own little
Emblem

That’s where you come in

My future Queen

The structure to my vision
That fulfills my dreams

And I know me
See
My patience grants me
The time needed for growth
Mistakes have been made
And it applies to us both
But I don’t need that
I need you
And your pupils

See
I’ve learn from one old sage
How to recover from the ailments
That prevents our turning page

I found this nice trick too
With your pupils
And I think
It’s kind of crucial

I can take the essence of a star
And place it in you pupils
Give you time to shine
And you will
Later giving me the brown eyes
I’ve always adored
Back in my possession
During the time of my growth

And the glimmering brown
Of your beautiful iris
Would grant me the simplicity
In my one wish

You

As is

As we build

Having Orion’s Belt
Smile down on your luster
Envying the strength
That we can muster
Shining brighter
Than a mountain
Full of diamonds
Under pressure

Fighting our demons
While holding each other

Together

And we wouldn’t look up to the stars
You’d keep your eyes on me
And I’d make wishes
In between your blinks
Having our unit
Fix each other’s kinks
Not giving a fuck
To how perfection thinks

Cause I would have a star
And your heart would have a home
We would start at the roots
And enjoy “US”
Till we’re grown

I would be your path
And you would be my destination

Finding pure balance
In any location

Hand you a small piece of my wish
In the form of a poem
Or a good night kiss
Blown your way

Before I sleep

Or sent in a text
As a coincidence
To what I think

But instead of
“Good night miss”
I’ll keep it simple to

“G'Nite star”

So you can later appreciate
How important you are

“After the hurricane passed
I found ‘HER’
My shining star”

The "Vision"

2008-09-25T08:32:00.001-07:00

I am malleable
Of stubborn origin
But ever so humble

Humility of a form
That I will never be of trouble…

Or troubled…

I AM VISION

So full of sight
In an array of light
With brilliance and might

That she “Loves”

And never “liked”

So I became hers

Her pupils

In a swarm of lessons
To do good

She taught me this
Through her experiences
I experienced
And experiment
Into a spear of action
Without indecision

She is my precision

Why walk a path…
When you have direction?

With wisdom and sight through an experienced perspective
That hasn’t seen it all
But will respect “IT”

Your paragon and flaws

And could still see you to your destiny
With both her eyes closed

Only to shield me
From my foes

HMMM

You would have to rip my soul
Up out of my core
Just to get to her heart

And even then
You’d have a hard time
Taking us apart

Because I am her problem
And she is my simple
I am her body
While she is my temple
I am her drive
While she was my engine
And while she moved me
I was her piston
And while I am her eyes
She is my vision
and if I AM VISION
well then...
It’s hard to describe
Our unison

Where even love can’t fathom
What we have built
Destined to a grass hut
With walls that wont wilt
Or crumble
Or fall
Or sway
Or tilt

WE ARE
Simply
a sight too blessed to "SEE".

Muninda

2008-09-14T00:15:00.001-07:00

I was thinking of a rhyme
To kill her in
I created this monster
With lyrics daggering
Her senses
Into conditioning

But this girl stole mine
Adrenalin

Mind
Straight out my eyes
While hindering
Blind
My third eye vision
To simmer sin

HA

She did kiss my eye
To envision things
That brought about the fall
Of past kings

But eye sees
She lies
With words flickering
Like a weak candle
Amid weaker winds

“Herbsie you cute”

It’s so sickening

That she’s so smooth
And I'm slipping in

She rhymes

While being sweet and damaging
Goodly with her smile
Stiff boobs and belly ring
Locks flowing off her frame
Like the rasta manikin
And she’s fueled by MY
Adrenalin

It’s not wise
But I turn a blind eye to this
Cause she can steal the BLACK
Straight out my iris

Turn that to ink
And use it for malice

Then her lips

Pierces through my defenses
And as inspiring as she is
I promise
I will never again
Lure a lyricist…
Who studies my tactics
And I don’t like it
…
But I kind of like her
While she doing it
And doing it
And doing it nice
And as lighting strikes
I whisper

“SHE’S ALIIIIIVVVEEE”.

In My Little Chamber

2008-09-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

I walked into a ventricle
I no longer visit
I was just fucking around
But I did kind of miss it

Missed her
But my heart didn’t insist

The feeling was different
The paintings had faded
Memories of a love
We thought was out dated

“That old love is gone”
Insisted her essence
“What are you doing here?”
In response to my presence
“Please don’t”
But still I was welcomed

See

She is my heart
But only a portion of it
She beats nervously around me
And I kind of love it
Knowing the reasons behind it
Are synchronized to the behavior
Of my own heart

It mimics her behavior
And gives me something to feel
Her pleasures are mine
Her thoughts
My meals

Possessing knowledge of each other
To weaken defenses
Yet safe in this chaos
Feeling protected

Watching my heart beat
Outside of my chest

Watching her be
While controlling my breath
Knowing this...is just a short visit
My memory wont forget.

Suny Rays Of Mine

2008-09-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

She sits on my window
Hair waving at the wind

Looking back in the room
Like
“Good morning my king”

“Certainly good my Queen”

She’s dressed in my senses
While coated in my blinks

Smiling with the assumptions
That I know what she thinks

“Did you sleep well?”

See
My sunflower
She needs reasons to bloom
And she blooms with full strength
When she enters my room

And it’s understood

That I am not the sole reason

But our unity invokes
The appropriate season

“Tranquilly love
I slept in bliss”

And me in my kingdom
Feel safe in her shadow
As the sun comes to be
And then takes a bow
Asking her for her blessing
To ensure a safe passage
As he gives her a presence
Placed in an open package

Blessing her skin
In an array of light
Dressing her in “Beautiful”
Meant only for my sights

As my heart begs
For a rainy day
Missing what her skin does
With lightning’s rays.

Poetry IS LIFE

2008-08-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Poetry IS LIFE

Poetry is motion
That bonds two souls
Poetry is an emotion
That forms to hold
TWO CLANS
Who once knew the other as foe
TWO CLANS
Who take more shit than assholes
But when it comes time
To Beat our drums
And rhyme
It’s poetry that unites us
Even if only
Till morning time
Or sun shine

Tonight
We chant sing and dance
Tonight we dance
Straight into a trance
Of unity
We single handedly
Can not achieve
But this is our home
We shall not leave

And poetry
That’s the small space of freedom
My country uses to breathe

To stay alive

A home front many WISH
It would just die

POETRY
I'm telling you
IT SAVES LIVES.

Bullet for PEACE

2008-08-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

I fall asleep nowadays
With a bullet on my lips

This slug with no love
That extends from her tit
Right in to my kiss

It’s just a little kiss
And a little tongue
With a little lip
And a little flick
With a little bit…

Well I mean bite

But it’s all right
She likes it I think

I mean…

The way that she winks
With both eyes
In a retarded blink
Biting her lips
As her body sinks
Into this poem I sing
Or my lip-syncs

Right in to her heart…

See…

She likes how I start
I come home late
Brighten up the dark
Give her a hug
Before she asks
One kiss on her lips
For all she lacks
One more on her cheek
For completing me back

I shower and eat
Then lay her
On her back
Till her stomach
As we interact
Nourishing my garden
As her eyes roll back

Then I stop

It aint time to harvest
But she don’t like that
So she pulls out her thorns
And scratches my back
Gets a little violent
But I won’t fight back
Just cultivate my garden
And leave out my glock

Cause I'm peaceful like that

But she’s violent you see
Putting slugs in my mouth
Trying to scare me
To conform to a standard
That can’t suit me

But she fits me

So I pick her off her stem
And pin her on my suit
Suspend her off the wall
Yet treat her with couth

Yet still
She fights me

Throwing
Bullets for peace
Jiggling her treaty
As if to tease
My freedom
With her police
Governing my garden
With her new lease

Yet we need each other

I cannot stray
This is my land
And without me
This is just sand
Knowing she won’t kill me
Cause she needs my hands
Putting bullets in my mouth
To meet her demands

And I like it…

Knowing I can’t fail
When in her possession
Or be replaced
After my progression
And she acts all tough
But I know her intention

And she likes it…

She won’t shoot
And I won’t stop chewing
As she stands salute
To what the herbsman is doing
Silently so
Knowing that it’s over
Calling for truce
As I disarm her areola.

Psycho Silence

2008-08-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

If I did this my way
You’d swear to GOD
That the devils my bitch

Heartless lil fuck
When I'm let out of my wits

Yet in control enough
To enjoy this shit

See I wouldn’t kill you
As I don’t have the heart
But god forbid
Letting me take you apart

Slice off your eyelids
So you can see my deeds
Grinning at you
And the tears you bleed

I wouldn’t kick you while down
I’d pour gas on your feet
Kick open your nostrils
And have you smell defeat
Then light your ass up
For kicks and screams
Like kicks and giggles
But only with a fire ball
That you can’t get rid of

But lucky for you
My mind won’t listen to my heart
And motions stray from
What emotions spark

So you’d be wise
To leave me
To my silence
Before I free my heart
From it’s little asylum.

Jihad Bin Nafsi

2008-08-09T23:44:00.001-07:00

I and I
Could never slow my pace
I and I
Could never know my race
Way too fast
To just slow down and chase
A mind frame
That retards my grace

Gracefully elegant in my hunt
To be misplaced
Begging to be erased
So much so
That I want to be with Miss. Hate
So you have a reason to hate
My reason to BE

Shit
I fear no man
Nor god
Or gods
Build by men
Who half assed
They own judgments
To their own
Imperfections
All while trying to perfect me
Into a bracket
That doesn’t suit my greed
But rather theirs

This so called “Need”
For them to care
Caring for me
With disrespectful stares
Cause I don’t respond
To the group they placed me in

Come and chase me then

My freedom is set above most men
I'm freer than most of them
While I sin less
And still manage to enjoy my sins
Cause my rebellious blood
Makes me a role model
To most my kins

I am a champion
Amongst cowardly kings
A lion
Amongst hens

See
Not even a week a go
A man from his clan
Shot a kid from mine
And in this “RAA RAA” mind frame
“Mine” all reach for nines
AK47s
Glocks and mines
Going out to in pursuit
To protect some blood line
That’s already been spilled
So I apply an old saying
About spilled milk

But my crew shifts
Looking at me
Like I should give a shit
When I really don’t

It’s not my place to kill
Unless I'm protecting

The kid’s dead
He needs no protection

On his way to heaven
With no burden of sins
Seeing as how OUR rules state
God cares enough
To punish people for their mistakes

So what am I going out of my way for
Cause he was born in this never ending war?

And my honesty
Gets the best of me
I have this mouth
That just wont let me be

So I ask
“If your god applies part time
Why should he apply to me?”

I won’t fight for a cause
I have no ties to
And I have too many lessons
To act like a mindless fool
Who will kill for an allegiance
He was pissed in to
Making significance
Out of insignificant acts

I have honor
My lineage taught me that

And to go against it
Cause of some values molded to suit some insignificant guys
Cause they can mold their lies
With the guns and death
They can profusely supply

Is not my form of honor
My GOD affords me the emptiness
To have no fear to harbor
Fuck your clan
Blood line and Lineage
I know mine
To simply aid in MY experience
Further aiding my wisdom
To surface and grow

This is MY way of life
This is what I know
Live and race For.

Cloudless

2008-07-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

She is Niceness
In an access
That didn’t exist

Cause when we met
She set my love quest
To accomplishment

Finding my goals
Achieved
Just to spend more time with her
Giving the “all” I received
Just to share more of “mine”
With her

Finding my self in her
Through her selfless acts
Loving my ancient behavior
And loving me back

Leaving me like a child
With his elbow on his thighs
Palms on his cheeks
Satisfied
Looking off the edge of the cliff
Mesmerized
At the formless infinite
The clouds paint for his eyes

This is her
“I love you back”
Realized
Every time
Placing me on a cloud that the ninth
Couldn’t place me on
A form of bliss that didn’t need holding on
Since she hold my attention
In her subtle form

I see now
What I didn’t then
An access that was “off limits”
As two good friends
That now offers an image
Of limitless ends
A gift from my past
Offering a gratifying present

One future with an angel
Without guarantee into heaven.

"Wish You Were Here"

2008-07-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

I have the fortune to be fortunate enough to buy myself a flawless sunset
Baby Love
The sun casts a shadow on the water here
That looks like the brick road to heaven’s own gate
I can tell “Blue skies from pain”
Since I can no longer remember “hate”
A sensation too foreign to my veins
Or to this love I hold
Occupied with golden memories
Like a gold fish in his bowl
Wishing you could see
The majestic view that makes love to my soul
Cleansing “nonsense” from my thoughts
Into tears I should cry
But I won’t
As my memories only last for five minutes and thirty odd seconds
And then it stops
That’s the problem with vinyl records
But how I wish you were here to enjoy this with me
As I restart Pink Floyd
And sit to enjoy my scenery
Thinking

“Perfection wouldn’t have a flaw
If you were to accompany it”

Leaving me with this invisible tear
That I can not hold
Or smear
I mean
I am grateful for the scene
But your better half
Just wishes you were here.

"Sunday" kinda thing

2008-07-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

“True love” is something
Hard to find
Leaving many in a state of infatuation
Built in the mind
Taking part
In the falsified

A false that forces the lie
Into a realm of reality
It can not sustain

Ladies and gentlemen
I give you
“The game”

An illusion of a sort
That many consider a sport
Played differently by the genders
But same rules apply

“Truth is the enemy
Sell the lie”

Only to find ones self consumed in a structure
They can not escape
Imprisoned to a mind frame
Consumed by the chase

Redefining themselves
To suit the uniform they conform to
Fearing the “passer by”
That might find them

“True love” is something
Hard to find

But once found
It hurts the mind
Because logic never made better sense
When truth is involved
Yet the found fear being “love”
Or simply being
What they were intended for
Finding it hard to understand
That love
Never keeps score
It just is

“Kid
Stop playing
And just live”.

R.I.P.

2008-07-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Fear of death never touched me
Until she died in my arms
I had a philosophy on endings
But then she died in my arms

I never knew pain
Or gave the acknowledgment to hurt
I always maintained
By not giving in to my heart
But then she died
In my hands
And tears weren’t made
To be utilized by man
But still they dropped
While I stood outside of my mind
Wondering why the tears won’t stop
Knowing I had an answer to all my illnesses and pains
Losses and gains
Growth and change

But the tears burned more than the loss I endured
Reminding me
That I cry
Because I wasn’t sure
Shaping me into a form I knew was insecure
As she spent her last breath
In my palms

“When the deed is accomplished
One will retire”

She played her role in my life
And in doing so
Our time expired
“Such is heaven’s Way”
She taught me much
Like tranquility
And silence
The wisdom to manage my defiance
And tame my ego to compliance
And even though that was enough
I got a little greedy
Needing her presence
To maintain her teachings
Ignoring ALL of the lessons
Because she was taken from me
But then I learned

Every soul plays a role
In our journey called life

Where even a falling leaf teaches
The freedom involved in not fearing life
To rebirth
So when she died in my hands
It hurt
Yet I knew it was no ones fault
But feared applying my wisdom
Without her consult
But I knew better
And in doing so
I grow

May God grant me my one wish
And let her rest in peace
“Whaler”
My late Golden Fish.

For Medicinal Use...

2008-06-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

Dear self
How are you today?

I was thinking
Of the things I should say

But I froze

I was writing
Non-stop
Till you went
And popped
Between my first
And last thought

Then I froze

My first never began
Ending in the hands
That never wrote
Like the anger
Stuck in my throat
When all I needed
Was this note
The calm that I sought
But lost in a thought

When I froze

Dear self
Are you okay?
I haven’t heard from you
ALL DAY
Are you that angry?
That my fist prefer pen
Instead of acting
On emotions
Based on destruction
Of…you
SELF
???
O.k.
Cool

Dear Self
I'm sorry
Get well soon.

Found By Love

2008-06-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

I found love
But she claims to have found me
This form of love
Is insanely astounding
She makes me laugh
All while she clowns me
He he
Ke ke
All after me
While I laugh at her jokes

Dumb
Yet

Flattered by the words she spoke
She’s corny as hell
But it amuses her
Saying I'm so ugly that
It just “confuses” her
Then laughs till tears
Grace her eyes
Then I
basically realize
I FOUND LOVE

See
She takes my flaws
And expounds on their cause
Like how my beard is symmetrical
But wont grow in the middle
And she chooses that spot
To start the trail of kisses
That lead to my smile
That works on my mood
EVERY TIME

Now I grow out my beard
So she can follow the trail
Beard all thick
That it loses the detail
Yet…
She reads my chin like Braille
With her lips
Finding the route again
And let her kisses set sail
I FOUND LOVE

But she loves telling me
That she found me
Saying
“C’MON
Be real
You couldn’t find your ass
If you were to sit still”

Then laughs
Like she brought the house down
Slapping her knee
Making gasping sounds
Leaving me amazed
Too shocked to say something
She’s evil and corny
And not HALF as funny
As her mind leads her to believe
I don’t understand the joke
But I laugh in disbelief

This love is different
From what my heart is used to
And she reminds me
“I can’t love you
Like you want me to
But I do lion
Love you”
And words like that
Have a love spell to cast
So I sit still
In order to find my ‘ass’
Shit…
She might be right
Being found
Feels kinda nice.

Autumn & Spring

2008-06-09T10:50:00.001-07:00

He saw her on some leaves chasing the breeze
No destiny or destination
Simply at ease
Eyes on air currents
Heading out east
As she blows towards a future
Leaving him be
Without asking
“Do you want to leave with me?”
And he never answered
What she expected of him
And she never asked him
So
He watched her leave

“I wish she saw me
But she couldn’t have
I wished for eye contact
When we crossed paths
But she without destiny
Cannot possess maps
She without a destination
Cannot make stops
And sitting on leaves
She simply couldn’t stay
And I'm sorry
I didn’t mean to go away
I was just looking for a better day

I'm sorry”

She says she couldn’t believe
That he set her heart on the leaves
And just set it free

She wished she didn’t see
His soul in the rain
Wishing to never have caught
The drops as they came
But all she could do was gaze
With raindrops falling into her eyes
She too was
“Just looking for better days”

“He without a plan
Shifts like the winds
I have no home
And clipped my wings
For him
But he is too blind to see
The tears I cried
Reluctantly
Were the same rain drops
He drowns his soul in”

My Shooting Star

2008-06-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen the star
In the blinding shadow of daylight?

Cause I have
And oh
What a beautiful sight
To see a shooting star
When ever you blink at me
To think
“DAMN
Another wish
Has Just been freed”
Heart under lock
Thinking
“Breathe breathe

PLEASE BREATHE”

See I can’t imagine you
Looking in your own eyes
So of course
YOU
Wouldn’t realize
That EVERY DREAM THAT I
Eva
Eva
Eva
Threw into the night and day skies
Was simply disguised
IN YOUR EYES

My shooting star

So I’ll ask you again
Have you ever seen the stars
Through the shadow of rain?
Or how about when it bright outside
And the light is pain
Hurts my eyes
But every time you blink
I see it again
My shooting stars
EVERY LITTLE DREAM
I
EVA HAD

That’s what you are

Of course you can’t see it
People rarely look at them selves
And believe it

But I remember the wishes I made
When I was twelve
And a decade later
I finally feel like my self
I feel like
Well
My wish is right here
In the middle of the day
I see my stars clear.

Warm Soup For Your Soul

2008-06-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

My Grandmother smiles
Then laughs in disbelief
With tears in her eyes
She squeezes my cheeks
Almost taunting me
“How old are you?!?
Speaking of broken hearts
When it’s only bruised”

I came for guidance
And she does her best to confuse
Calling my grandfather
“Come listen to this
TRAGIC news”
Giggling like a child
“YOOOOOOOLLLLL”

…DI FUCK?!?...

I shoot out of bed
Drenched in sweat
“Superman dat hoe”
On the TV set
Wondering
“WHAT THE FUCK”
Just took place
…
Wash my face
Change channel
Acting… not so bothered
Indifferent to the opinion
Of my late grand mother

But this woman raised me
With knowledge of self

Know the unknown
And you won’t fear your strengths

So what could a subconscious
Mean by “bruised”?

I tickle my mind sometimes
With the antics I use

I accidentally blink
And my eyes seal shut
And with a more serious tone
She wakes me up

Imagine
Being conscious in your own dreams
Trying to decipher
What it could possibly mean
Knowing
YOU KNOW
Yet still struggling

She asks
“Do you remember the story of the rain and leaves?”
DO I REMEMBER?
Are you kidding me?
I'm only half asleep
Fully aware
That YOU, my dear
Are a figment of some shit I'm imagining

I jump out of sleep
Before she slaps my mouth
Real or not
That’s one theory I aint testing out

But I reminisce on a story
Too true for a fairy tale
About a rain drop
That couldn’t possibly fail

See
Love is simple
If you know your place
What is
Will be
If you don’t approach with haste

Like rain drops
Each with a role too great for greed
A purpose to exist
So they have no needs
Those who fear it
Simply never come to be
And those who are
Relive their memories
But specifically
My grandmother spoke of one drop
On one leaf
Saying, “If it stood firmly in love
It would never have this to feel”
This drop left the comforts of its cloud
No longer too proud
As pride has no place in love
And he was in love
With the green in the leaves
But there was so many
And only one of “he”

“What is
Will be”
And he only has one life to lead
He is
ONLY ONE BEAD
And he leaves the cloud
Diving to the leaves

Then he sees her
An Echidnopsis
The flower that gave him reason
To exist
“What is
Will BE”

But he misses the leaf
Crashing in to the sand
And shattering

Amazingly
She finds every piece of him
And in the time she spends
Loving him
THEY become one

Love is simple
Fear complicates
Giving you unreasonable wisdom
Where reason has no place
So how can you…I… speak of a broken heart
When that same item was given away?
No longer mine to stress over
But I wish it had stayed
My grandmother with a smirk on her face
Says words to change my minds pace

“If you change the rules on what controls you
You will change the rules on what you CAN control”
I love that woman
May God bring peace to her soul.

“I want to make you a soup that warms your soul” - Sade

Turttle Love

2008-06-09T10:45:00.001-07:00

I‘m traveling
At the
Speed of love
Visualizing
The intricate
Image of

A “Forever”

That knows not of death

ME and HER
Call us “INFINATE”

While sufficiently inferior

Only

To each other

Queen and King
Journeying

Like two young lover

See
My travels are endless
But the heart in my chest
Belongs to my empress
While she lays with my heart
To keep her company
Being both destination
And destiny
Not to mention a home
Of her own category
Let us call her…
“Heavenly”

And while traveling
At the speed of love
The only REAL thing
I’m thinking of
Is the E.stimated T.ime of A.rrival
She healed me for
Reminiscing on her words

“Your E.T.A is
Forever and Worthy”

I can’t be gone too long
She tries to remind me

Yet indubitably valued
By my destiny

Can you blame me?

I have reason to be traveling this fast
I’m enjoying it
And she makes it last.

Your Blind Chameleon

2008-06-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

I tried the truth
But that didn’t work
I considered lying
But it would have made things worse

I tried letting my actions define
How you judge me
But my thoughts get in the way
Cause you don’t trust me

Now I’m confused
More than before
While my heart silently begs you
To open your doors

I don’t know what to do
With the pieces that are forming
I’m not broken
But some what transforming
Into a mistake
I could have avoided
By simply telling you the lie
That your open eyes had chosen

I wanted to tell the truth
But it was hard to express

“Bayb I do love you”
Now poisons my chest

I am not broken
But stuck in a state of breaking
I should have just lied
And avoid all this aching

My truth never changes
But my intention does

I tamed my mind
You just weren’t ready to be loved

Yet still my heart chose to
Breaking itself
Because my mind avoids you
Saving itself

Now with my own little pieces
Loving me
Will be just as hard
May be
Each of my pieces
Can love each of your pieces
Twice as hard

I am not a quitter
And my heart never lied
And it’s my heart that does the “loving”
Not my mind

You are not my enemy
So I won’t hide from you
I do not fear my journey
So I’d rather be hurt by you
Than avoid my mistakes
And lose all the lessons we could gain
I’m your own Blind Chameleon
Hiding in the open plane.

Zanub

2008-06-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

She came to him
Dressed in silk
This half Indian girl
With Afrikan skin
Divinity in a body
Immaculately built
That could make you rethink
Every ‘IDEA’ of love
You could ever have
And knowledge to a point
You’d wish your wisdom
Would just starve
Just to feed on the advice she’d give
While eating at
“Food For Thought”

See
He was but a guest on the island
Yet he was also not lost
So it surprised him when she asked
“Where you from boss?”
He smiled “From a hut THAT WAY
A day’s ride in to the sun set
But I’ve lived here half my life
Just past the market”

She said her mother never lied
And she has her mothers’ eyes
And if he was a local
He defiantly had a foreign smile
Yet every man hides his “wounds”
When they’re seeking an escape
But what ever the case
He didn’t fit the lying type
Yet wore
A liars disguise

So he begged her not to ask questions
That forced his tongue
She put on a mischievous smile
“Welcome to Zanzibar
And you speak like a Kenyan”

They spent many lunches
Playing this game
Hiding locations in their words
Hoping the other came
She’d tell him stories of love
“My younger parents…”
And he loved how she told it
A forbidden love
“They made the perfect mistake”
Priceless how she holds it

Time passed too swift
Intentions shift
An unlikely relation
Was slowly being built
Getting “too close for comfort”
Yet comfortably close

He was happy with what they had
As if she gave him a new start
Yet she knew there was something
Still animate in his heart

“I know your family
But they won’t tell me much about you
I trust your aunty
And I can tell she loves you
The way she smiles
When I mention your name
Yet all she’ll say is that
You can’t be tamed
The young man with ideas
Too big for his age
Why not stay here
With me
Until you reach that age?”

With hurt in his eyes
He gave her an answer
Perfectly disguised
“Home is where the heart is
And I’m just the traveling man
Forced to search for it
Without a solid plan”

She smiled that smile again
“I now know your wound
I can see your scar
Please come back to me
If you don’t find ‘Her’
Listen to your aunty
Don’t go on a journey
With a broken heart
You might miss the gem you’re looking for
In your aimless search
But you never know
I might take a boat for a day
In to the sunset
THAT WAY”

He didn’t know what to think
Since it was she
Who came to him
Dressed in silk
This half Indian girl
With afrikan skin
Divinity in a body
Immaculately built
A genuine heart
That could make you rethink
Every idea of love
You could ever have
Possessing knowledge to a point
You’d wish your wisdom would starve
Bringing a halt to the lack of a plan
And giving a final destination
To the traveling man
Who finally realized
In an echo of her voice
“You’re not alone
Stay here
With me
And build a new home”

But he had a boat to catch
With little time to let her get dressed
Leaving a note under her morning drink
“Orange love
Freshly pressed
Don’t wait for me
But I will be back
To make that ‘Perfect Mistake’
And let you fill in what I lack”

Government yard in Utanga

2008-06-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

We were the kids of the slums
Experienced ten year olds with enough wisdom
To know friend from foe
Knowledge acquired
NEVER told
Or bought
Or sold
It was there if you cared
Transparent if you didn’t
BUT NOTHING WAS HIDDEN

We were all rich
Yet “Poor” by their standards
Wild
Uneducated
And dangerous most times
The little brats
Accused of petty crimes
We were ten
Only danger we knew
Were the sounds of a riffle
Or the fools with guns
But no title

We were “TOO OLD” for our own good
Often told it is we who misunderstood

Then that Friday came
Where “THEIR” standards became
The new rules to live by
Or stay here and die

We were rich here
Leaving wasn’t an option
But that Friday silence our words of caution
We were no longer the future
We were now just “children”
Who no longer understood the changing of winds
We knew our enemies
Yet our knowledge ignored
Where “once upon a time”
A simple cub’s roar
Rearrange and changed
The territory we claimed
Now silenced by the promises
That came with these western plains

“There might not be food
But there are better beds to sleep in
No food
Yet a golden pot to piss in
No food
But a future that glistened”

You didn’t have to be old to know
Lack of food keeps you hungry
That same lack of food
Keeps you hunting
Lack of food
Lead our leaders to eat each other
The current state we’re living in
The reason we’re here in the first place
Misplaced out of our lands
For some silly rat race

But a beautiful present
Silences the mistakes of the past
Insuring the longevity of the future
Would not last
As the “children” sing

“Knowledge is acquired
Never told
Or bought
Or sold
It is here if you care
TRANS-PARENT if you don’t”

At Times

2008-06-06T13:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I’ll fall in love with the journey
And forget she has a role to play
While most times the destination is not worthy
But I’ll still enjoy my stay

Sometimes the curse feels better than the blessing
And most times
I’m just guessing

All the time
Seeing you smile makes me feel good
While most times
It makes me feel even better

Most times the wise do the most foolish of things
While letting their journey dictate their objective
Allowing too many lessons to cloud their judgment
And acting surprised by an out come
That should have been expected

One time
I let love hurt me
Knowing pain
Helps you grow

Last time
I acted unworthy
Knowing I was neglecting
What I know

Sometimes they pass off the fool to inexperience
Neglecting the fools indecision for youth

Sometime they ignore wisdom for comfort
Justifying the wise’s inactivity for truth

Sometime…they’re right

Sometimes I want to explain my actions
But most times it’s unlike me

Sometimes seeing you think
Makes my heart smile
But one time it hurt

Sometime fear blinds intentions
Falling victim
To defenses
That imprisons
In blind pursuit
Of perfection
Later leading
To indecision
Doubtful of all things
“Good”
While seeking better
Later
Only aiming to settle
For “what ever”

But just
Sometimes

Like right now

Most times I’m misguided in my judgment
Letting my understanding ensnare my dealings
May be this time
I’m the fool
Staying simple
Simply inactive to my feelings
May be this time
I need growth
And may be...that’s why I’m leaving

Most times every action has a reason
Or it’s an excuse not to face the lovely demon

And every time
It’s just life.

Fearless Not Careless Love

2008-06-05T17:02:00.001-07:00

She promised me her heart in its infancy
Saying it would “Grow” to love me unconditionally
Timeless
Thoughtless
Just “Infinitely”
A path she chooses defiantly
Since my approval is absent from her family

And I am not a fool seeking comfort
But
I can receive
Her truth
Set to a rhythm of a sonnet to be
Her genuine lips drips poetry better than me
Cause “I LOVE YOU” is unlikely
To describe the infinite she is giving to me
Saying
Her heart’s mind likes what it thinks of me
Asking
How hard could it be?
Being loved for BEING
“Simply as is”
Walking around town
Saying
“I am his”
And I have no answers
Yet stuck in the same state
Giving her my all
In an untamed pace

See
This kind of love is rare in our time
She invests her heart…as I invest mine
Nothing to lose
And everything to gain
Since “WISE are the experienced”
Both in pleasure and pain.

A La Bella Etoile

2008-06-05T17:02:00.000-07:00

I’ll let you know what I “like”
From your brown eyes
To that subtle overbite
Or when you kiss me deep…IN MID NIGHT
And then dawn to noon
To first star light
And those hips
Calves
And thigh sides
To inside
With belly button so slight
And tone to a sin
That it forces my hands…to sin
Then that grin with full lips
Making mine feel thin
And skin
Too flawless to be mine
Yet mine
From sun rise to moonshine
While I get drunk off the sweat beads of your skin
Kissing from heel back to chin
Tit side to tit
Temple to think
Earlobe to shin

And when I’m done letting you know what I “like”
You fall asleep
While I sit here and write
Trying to capture what I “love”…
But I can’t
It would take too many nights
Keeping me in a state of thought
And not act
So I’ll write this poem on your back
Cause I aint the fool who would interfere with his kisses
My actions will draw you what I love
Incase you missed it
The “poem”
On your shoulder blades that I sketch every night
With my lips
Before you wake up
To give me my deep kiss
IN MID NIGHT
And I wash it off at dawn
So I can have another entry to rewrite
“Under the beautiful star”.

Lovely Overdose

2008-06-05T15:07:00.000-07:00

My remedies
Herbally
Are EXCELENT

Silly Me
Me and Me
Behave too benevolent
Potent
To an extent
That I can’t
Or wont
Behave like anything is missing

See
My heart is consistent
And not to mention infinite
That no soul can “break” it

Imagine
I give “you” my favorite of gifts
You take it and lift
Shake it and shift
Bake it and sniff
And then O.D.
On its potency
And give it back thinking
It rattled my “drift”?

I’m Sorry

But that’s not my burden
I’m simply me
Without pardon
And my heart can not harden

Infinite can’t stop and think of an “outcome”

You can not conclude or do
What can not be “done”

My remedies
Herbally
Are EXCELENT

Silly Me
Me and Me
Behave too benevolent
Potent
To an extent
That I can’t
Or WON’T
Behave like anything is absent

See
My heart is consistent
“You” can not break it
You’re are simply giving back
My gift
Rhythmically too glib
To be thrown off it’s drift

Shit
You better watch your step
Cause I can make you
Fall in love
With your “I” self
Scaring your logic
Until it’s emotionally upset
That
YOU
Never loved YOU
Before my gift
A remedy that will NOT quit

Herbsie
UPLIFTS

And even GOD will not help those
Who won’t help themselves
AND I
Am not better than “dude”
But my gift is full of benevolence
In its infinite form of “infinite”

I don’t “love you”

I love ME
While YOU hold it

Holding yours
Hopping
YOU
Can experience half of the limitless flaws I take pleasure in
But you won’t stop shivering.

And the pebble Replied...

2008-06-04T16:04:00.000-07:00

I met a ‘Diamond’
But she wasn’t simple
Just a rock with a name
And a few “cute” dimples

I wasn’t impressed
But I felt kinda bad
She wasn’t “as” bright to me
And it made her kinda sad

I mean
What more can I do?
I don’t value dimples
So I don’t know
If hers were “cute”

I like mine raw
In their natural state
And she was a chiseled rock
With a powdered face

I’m sorry we’re just not meant to be
Cause mentally
“Bright” don’t do it for me
I like mine
Luminous
With a slight
“Dull and Boring”
and I don’t mean to hold you up
Please go back to whoring
Your shimmering self to wandering eyes
And I will head back to being the “pebble”
Who never struggled with lies.

Balanced

2008-06-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

She never was
Anything more
Than his “dream girl”

his destination

In a reality

That abandoned his world

She was the cure

To the cold world

He resided in

The perfect mixture

Of pride

That confided in him

Never out of place

Both of in color and shape

In early autumns grace

When she is around

Every tree had a breeze

Every pollen

A bee

And every blessing

A sneeze

And he

Well he had his dream

The perfect mixture

Of any thing he’d need

From fruit to seed

Control to greed

Panic to calm

And simplest solutions

To the erupting sensation

That rested in his palm

But only in her presence

Cause any other time

That was a sensation

Too intense

It’s ironic aint it?

Watching a lotus bloom

Yet feel the sensation in your palm

Completely consumed

By the movement of the pedals

As she lays on your heart

Enduring with you

The most painful parts

Knowing growth aint easy

But it’s definitely a good start

And she sits there

Patiently waiting

Praying and pacing

Enduring every bit of pain

You could possibly be facing

Until it’s gone

Then she stares at your eyes

Like you were strong all along

Knowing

In “your” world

She is your “weakness”

But there was strength in that knowledge

She doesn’t belong in here

But fits and completes your logic

Protecting her

While she clasps on to your heart

Ultimately protecting your love

From the unknown hurt

That she walked into

The battle that encourages growth

And strengthens you

Giving you a purpose

Beyond what you’re used to

A lesson in wisdom

That can’t be handed to you

She was

Once

But a simple dream

An escape from a reality

That didn’t fit my schemes

She WAS the blue print

Now a reality

My weakest point

Yet she balances me

Leaving me vulnerable

Yet in my protecting her

I’m protecting me

Presenting enough flaw in my wisdom

To keep me human…consistently.

Just Like MCLEAN SAY "THIS TIME I'M PLAYING IT SMART...I'M WALKING AWAY"

2008-04-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

I want to be reckless
But she’s gone hurt more
I tried being patient
But she’s irresponsible

She knows the flaws yet
Evades the solutions
She knows my mind set
But is not pleased with the conclusion
She fears the journey
And makes MAD excuses
She knows her fears
Yet still refuses
To understand her own mind
all while effortlessly
distracting mine

She knows…
Yet pretends not to mind
Asking questions in place of answers
That only SHE can find

Imagine
You’re afraid of the dark
Yet find comfort in it
Knowing there’s nothing in the room
Besides you and your fear in
Life?
Heh
Aint that some shit?
Well I'm done with assumptions
Weather you grow or not
Aint gone effect shit
You were my last flaw
And now you’re dealt with
I don’t need light
Or pseudo guidance
I have countless journeys
And solutions to my ends
And where I'm heading
There is no “NORTH STAR”
So baby love
I will miss our scars

I’m taking your advice
I'm not the type to ignore logic
I’ll miss you
I loved you
And that’s it

"Haitam
You
Think
Different"
She told me so
I have my cleats
And my pens
so...
Off i go.

Sugar Coated

2008-04-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

I am the fuse
To every ear that listens
Sparking thoughts around wax
And BOOMS
In to senses
Thunderous
A little cancerous
But growth was never bad if you knew it for the better
Hence the assurances in a poem written like a letter
Dear reader
You already know
But you choose to ignore
Ignorance is bliss
But bliss without a purpose
Is a cube within an abyss
A prison cell
You choose to be comfortable in

Hmmm

Why not realize the fear
And build yourself wings
Fly towards the sun
And ride the light to the moon
Take one short step for you
And a leap to be immune
From a fear
That has no heart
And only existed
Simply because
It is you who permitted it

Sin can be erased
But you can’t encourage the mistake
Actions realize dreams
Only inactivity leads to fate

I am the fuse
To every ear that listens
Sparking thoughts around wax
And BOOMS
In to senses
Thunderous
A little cancerous
But growth was never bad if you knew it for the better
Hence the assurances in a poem written like a letter
One for love
Encouraging
One for hate
Purposely damaging
Day cannot be with out fist being morning
Then night
Every dark follows light
This is the law
A cycle never ending
We just hope on that light cycle
When comes time for our ending
Hate is necessary for love to know its place
Fate isn’t real
If you plan and trace
Follow and chase
What is destined to be yours
Patience
Cures
Actions find ingredients
To the medicine that helps you endure.

Avoiding all mines

2008-04-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

It began in the beginning like it always does
I saw her
She saw me
And we mapped out a course

She said her name
With a grin
As her eyes evade down
I regain eye contact
And ask her to repeat that sound

She says her name
I say mine
And we went from there
Went from
Shy eyes
To unforgiving stares
Wanting to know everything
She kept on saying
“Share”

So I did
And she did
And we were almost scared
But she knew
That I knew
We both want to be here
She spoke
As I listened
And was content with my ears
She understood
When I spoke
Assured I had nothing to fear

She was nice
And I was calm
So in tune with her mind
My heart smiles
And she smiles
At that exact time

But she had no more tea to drink
And mine was still full
Almost to the brink
Wishing I could share mine
As easily as I could spare time
But I had to go
Even though I wanted more
But she had to know
That I liked her

My heart likes her
And as long as I’ve known it
My heart’s not a liar
I had a name
And a number
She was now the ritual
Right before slumber

One hour few hours
And there was more to be said
One month
Few months
And she engulfs my head
I knew everything about her
Yet we spoke about nothing
Listening to each other breath
Like we were saying something

Then one day before we fell in love
We decided to stop
Our relation was too nice
Almost over the top
Too real to be fake
Yet too good to be real
And reality fades
When there’s too much to feel
She’s been hurt before
And couldn’t do it again
And I had an ego to protect
So I decided to pretend
Indeed you’re right

Truth is I know
In this society
Truth is…
Never truly right
You must give it in doses
Turning your partner in to your subject
A patient
To be studied and examined
May be even torment
But that’s not me
But she’s only protecting her from
What MIGHT be
I'm no psychic
But she might be

It began in the beginning like it always did
Yet I end up with pshycics unfortunately
Tormenting themselves into a path well wieved
I'm just glad I don't have a mapped out destiny.

Ecliptic Kiss

2008-03-24T12:26:00.001-07:00

She comes once in a blue moon
In the shadows of sweet dreams and full blooms
Of roses that only smell sweet in her presence
Trapped while struggling to escape her essence
Cause the roses in my dreams are not stupid
From the simplest echidnopsis to black tulips
They know I seek her and nothing will stop me
Like when the sun searches for night and can’t find it
But every single day the sun keeps searching
And roses follow alluringly while flirting
The sun never gives in and it keeps on track
Relentless and it never falls back
And only for a brief moment the sun catches it’s glimpse
The rose on the dark side of the moon during the eclipse
Finding night, right in the middle of the daytime
That’s the bliss she brings me during bedtime
One simple kiss
Sweeter than any rose
As she comes out of her blink
Leaving her soul exposed
For me to see her genuine glee
When she reminds me she’s going to be there for me
At the beginning and end of all my “sweet dreams”

May Be i DO Have A Conscience

2008-03-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

Translations
“Maxa kudari?” = what's the matter, but in the language, tone makes a difference
so in the poem, the tone it's set on, would come off as "what's your problem"

“Waax ne" = is a slang response = "nuttin"
"cudhu bileso” = ward off your daemons/devil
but in the poem it's more done with sarcasm, we don't really have sarcasm in our dialect(lol we call it lying if you say something you don't mean) but if two people ave an understanding of sarcasm, it could work
the assumption is that i know she's being sarcastic.
enjoy

...........................................
So I’m with my girl right
Both half naked
But only from hindsight
With mischievous eyes
And a smile so bright

I misplace intention
With purpose
I believe I have to ignore her
But I don’t know why I must

Oh
That’s right
The last prayer

Says HER

Seems to me
That it’s counter productive
To pray BEFORE the sin
Don’t get me wrong
I understand most things
And I own up to mine
As do most kings
See
I'm not a novice
And I happened to notice
That she aint the type
To misplace her choices

So why is she grinning?

And umm
This…aint the typical
Struggle with my conscience
Where I decipher the issue
From society’s stand point
To what I SHOULD do
Naah
My choice is made already
I’m going to fuck baby girl
Till her heart caves in
As she loves holding her breath
During orgasmic bliss
And I know
“You shouldn’t know that shit”
But I do
And intend to abuse it too
Yet
What I don’t get is
What’s her role in all of this?

Am I her test
Or is she mine?

And why is she grinning?

We aint kids no more
So actions follow thoughts “and what not”
Taking her hijab off
Like a hot summer day with my drop top
Bra pop
Taking everything off my canvas
Down to her rebook socks
And I never lie
Her body makes me nervous
But I get attached
It has no flaws
Not one scratch
And
Here we are
Waiting on salat
I want to start painting
Let bristles and strokes
Set up smooth sailing
But I have discipline
So I'm patiently waiting

BUT
WHAT THE FUCK
IS SHE GRINNING ABOUT??

She has something smart to say
But she’s clinching her mouth
Saying, “I love you” with her eyes
Without letting words out
So I grab a hold of her
With the edge of my sights and ask
“Maxa kudari?”

“Waax ne…but I'm in your head aint I
cudhu bileso”
As she keeps grinning.

Brown Eyes Like Heroin

2008-03-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

I study a lot of things
But never you
I understand a lot of concepts
But not you
I know all my needs
And wants too
And you seem to be in both categories
But I’ll fight you

You are not the girl of my dreams
You’re the one I'm suppose to lose
The one who gets away
And leaves my heart bruised
That one that will lead me astray
To only find my direction
The only damsel in my life
Who doesn’t need protection

It’s too soon
You have no role in my life
None for you to play
That I like

You’re supposed to be answer
When I can’t find it in me
I have mistakes to make
Lessons to receive
But you keep perfecting me
A Balance synergy
That I cannot tame
But it tames my greed

I don’t want you in my life
But I know better
Staring at your eyes
Like my own tether
Keeping me in line
Safe
With peace of your mind
Such a Hypnotic structure
Captured in a brown tint
That can fuck up every flawed little plan
That my mind could think
To think
That I think
You came TOO soon
Like I have the blueprints
To when my life should bloom
Like your questions
Are asking TOO much of me
Yet you’re never disappointed
Ever so lovely
Trusting
And pure
The gates to your soul
Make me feel sure

You’re god’s sense of humor
In full effect
The girl in the dreams
I can never recollect
Yet leaves me in a trance
Trying to recall
Using pieces of a dream
To build a whole

These fragments then make
This “DREAM GIRL”
In my dream world
Where all my plans
Go in accordance
But you fucking shit up
Yet your eyes romance
My senses into this remembrance
Of Your essence
That dream that had me in a trance
Is now your iris
I can’t look at you
And not find it
My dream
Staring
At me

You’re not the girl of my dreams
You’re the Queen who holds it
Good thing you blink too
Or I’d be overdosing.

Too Sweet

2008-03-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

She likes my word play
When I simply speak my mind to its precincts

Limitations have no purpose
When one never needs your words to feel…

“IT”

Simplicity in a form that complicates my words
Further giving her reason
To adore her worth
All while letting my lips embark
On a journey to kiss her heart

I’m like a kid in a candy store
When she lets me in
I see a brilliant future with infinite ends
And I don’t know where to begin
A simple journey
That often starts with a kiss
Like the chocolate
Yet she places hers on my Lips
And I can’t decides
Do I chew slowly this time
Or embrace its taste?
With one palm on her back
And the other on her face
I can feel our bodies
Fusing in place
As she inches closer
Giving me no room to stay sane
Inhaling all the air
Suffocating me into a high I can’t maintain
I find my addiction
Sugar with precision
This little kiss turns to a jawbreaker
I WANT to bite down hard
But too scared I might break her
Or fuck up my sweet tooth
So I let go for her ear lobe
And tell her the truth

“You have a scent that a hummingbird
Would hover over its whole life for
Too scared to disturb the nectar
Of all your perfect flaws”

She bites my collarbone
Trying to snap me out of my daydream
Still standing in front of the candy shop
And she’s inviting me in
But with endless possibilities
Where is one to begin?

She hands me a kiss
And simply recites
“It’ll come to you”
Letting me hover over her
Trying to figure out what to do
AND IT HITS ME
I’ll start with the left titi.

My Baby II

2008-03-12T17:51:00.001-07:00

My baby loves
AND SHE LOVES HARD
My baby loves
MY HEART
My baby loves
Simply like she loves hers

And all she asked for
Was honesty
So I did just that
And gave her more tea

I had her calm
Serene
And kept pouring

Into this nice cup
She was holding

See in the last poem
This cup had stars
My heart didn’t fit
Cause I was too hard
But she didn’t quit
MY BABY LOVES HARD
Now she harbors the many forms
Of my scars
Pieces to a heart
That are now hers

I'm still amazed
Stuck in a maze
That I hope to god
It’s not another phase
In the journey of a man
Who doesn’t understand his place
Outside of those
He calls family

She’s nothing like me
Or the people I protect
She’s not like “us”
Or the trivial concept
Trapping my people
Into a specific mindset
Yet
She’s one of “us”
In every aspect
From clan to blood line
As we keep in mind
That our people feud
But right now
She’s completely mine
A part of “us”
Hers and mine
Holding my eyes in her pupils
And then smiles
As she says my name in a melody
That shakes my heart
My empty ventricles capture
Her vocal mark
Causing my body to react
Like it’s in a falling state
With no parachute
And too high to escape
But she’s just the perfect estate
To crash into

MY BABY LOVES

MY BABY IS THE LOVE
THAT I GRAVITATE TO

And as I empty out my heart into this cup of hers
I realize
I found a cup that finally understands
MY WORDS
With my mouth closed in the shape of a smirk
She lets my actions define
My worth

Now imagine that
Being able to love
Knowing not a single drop
Will escape her palms

While being loved
Till she has to remind you
To stay calm

With a kiss…

I like losing my mind
Cause she gone kiss it back
Knowing I can’t lose my mind
Cause she’s there to catch
As I grow
In every aspect I can think of
My baby loves
And she can be loved
And we’re still dealing with a half empty cup.

Guardian Sphynx

2008-03-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

She’s like a hawk
Who thinks like penguins
Wishes she could SOAR
But
{{{SPLASH}}}
She can’t win
Too scared of the emotions
That comes with “him”

FLIGHT

Her wings
They flap for all they are worth
But her claws are digging
Too deep into the earth

Won’t let her self go
To enjoy the flight
Won’t let her self grow
Too scared of the sight
That one-day
“FLIGHT”
Might let her go
{{{CRASH}}}
Into the ground

This is why she envies the penguins
They are “safe and sound
And IF they fall
The water catches them
And THEY ALWAYS come around”

But a hawk is born
With instincts to dive
Spread wings and soar
Like she had nine lives
Sooner or later
She will jump
But sadly
Tries to anticipates
Every little air bump

And he’s like the roaster
Who will never roar
And like the variety of life
Not every man
Was built for war
Humble in his words
He tries to stay grounded
Watching his “lil birdie” break her wings
He’s astounded
Dumb founded at time
Cause of the things she says
“don’t tell me what you feel
but tell me anyways”
confused like the rooster
on the other side of the farm
wondering about his role
and if he’s causing harm

if only one could fly
and the other make the calls
these two lil birdies
might actually
Cushion each other’s falls.

My Baby

2008-03-08T21:31:00.000-08:00

My baby has THREE souls
And they house my heart
My baby is smart
And fuels my wisdom with sparks
My baby burns my dreams
When she sleeps in her own bed
And makes me WISH it was a dream
The way she overwhelms my head
My baby is beautiful
Like a cloudless night
When she lays in my bed
And kiss me soft like
With whispers and a breeze
That makes my ideas bright
Showing me her soul
And it's infinite stars
While giving me the wisdom
To heal all of her scars
See My baby likes me
From sunrise to the next morning
Saying “I like you
Cause my love won’t stop growing”
BUT
My baby has a big future
Too large to include me
Yet my baby’s heart seeks
To simply seduce me
See
Her heart likes me
And it does
Unconditionally
And my own heart
Is too big to be house in my chest
And before her
There was no soul big enough
To hold my interest
Then she came along
Offered to take my heart in
I WAS skeptical
But I finally gave in
Handed her my heart
And her soul opened up
But FUCK
It simply wouldn’t fit
And my baby
Using her quick wit
Got on top
And stomped my heart in…

My baby has THREE souls
Two that left footprints on my heart
And the big one with stars
That guides me home from the dark.

Daymare, Living the "Dream"

2008-03-08T20:51:00.000-08:00

Laying on my hammock
With ears full a tears
Can’t believe I’m back
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
The smell
The sounds
The sights
Are all clear
The blowing breeze
As it slowly draws near
My heart as it heals
From pain so severe

THIS IS WHEN THE NOISE KICKS IN
And it slowly disappears
I hit the snooze button
And act as if to adhere
To the "AMERICAN DREAM"
That brought us all here
So I wipe off my drool
And head off to my nightmares.

The mind frame of "MY BLOCK"

2008-03-08T20:40:00.001-08:00

The perfect sphere
Poetry in motion
bares no fear
IT CAN NOT BE BROKEN
it cannot be shook
nor can it be stolen
it cannot be bought
again
our minds are free
can never be enslaved
"my mind is me"
never recovered
as it was always saved
This is our cipher
This is "our" mind
free from confines
walls
or any stop signs
"my mind is free"
even after the rhymes
we are not what you read
or how history defines
the structure
make up
of an Afrikan mind
OUR design
is born above the standard line
mentally enslaved?
some
but never ALL our minds

One last favor, before you leave.

2008-03-08T20:31:00.001-08:00

Baby
It’s me
I know it's dark in your heart
Which makes it hard to see
But I might be someone
That you might need
It’s cool though
That you don't see
The same image
Exposed to me
So if you could
PLEASE
Try your best
When you take your aim
Aim for my right chest
Cause if you do
Accidentally
Hit my heart
I will
Undoubtedly
Take you apart

And I can sense it
From how you question your worth
How these answerless nights
Leave you in bed
Hurt
Which dims the hope
From your heart

And true

You didn't ask for this
But neither did I
Another man's actions
Strokes anger in your eyes
And I didn't know before
But now that I do
I would like to help
But you have to allow me to

So before you take actions
That we might both regret
Please baby
The right chest
Cause if I get hurt
I wont come back
2 similar mistakes
Only fools do that
So before I leave
Or you push me away
Know that my actions told you
"I want to stay"
But if you know you’re "too" broken
And cannot mend
Then we have no future
And this is the end
Just watch the heart
Don’t break it again
Caws then I will hurt you
Like the past men
Ok
I’m ready
Take you aim.

Life's A Bitch, But I Understand.

2008-03-07T08:39:00.000-08:00

I’m the only loner I know
Who has company

LIFE

So full of melancholy

My misery loves
And it’s in love with me

I love her back
Unwillingly

She always finds the means
To hurt my heart though

Using emotions to lure out
“You ass hole”

But she can never know my hearts pain

As we engage
In a fruitful
Mind game

Marrying into my emotions
And sanity

Diluting all my motions
And energy

She’s smart too
She tries to condition me

Like Torture
Rewarding
My progress

Forcing hate
To engulf
All I possess

Company
Rewards
My failures

Forcing hope
To be my only
Savior

Humbled
Yet still
I chase her

Too Afrikan
To accept
Failure

She can’t fail me
Since I embrace her

And now life fears
What I have made of her

Life’s a bitch
But I still married her

She hates me
But I keep on saving her

She now fears me
And my potential

The amount I give
Is so essential

To her existence

And love for

The blue prints of destiny that I don’t fit

She tries to derail
But I don’t quit

Life hates me for the love that I give her

She hates me

Cause I’m going to out live her

She knows

I’M GOING TO OUT LIVE HER

Life’s a bitch
BUT I UNDERSTAND

I’m simply more
Than “THAT” man

I'm A LEGACY
And she’s not mad at me
She’s being a bitch
Cause she can’t come with me
When she ends
I will still BE
And she knows
I LOVE HER
WILLINGLY.

Toy Soul'ja

2008-03-06T18:02:00.000-08:00

I did her in
Full of adrenaline
Skull
POP
Bash her up
Dull
Blade
Or kalishnokoff

I don’t care
As long as my deed is done
I am a revolution
Plus the killing is fun

With this candy in my blood
I can feel every grain of sand between my toes
Sensations that only god should know
Walking through the mud to kill some foes
And I can feel
Yet I feel stunned
The wood in the gun
The brass as it heats up
But the emotions are numb

It’s like finger fucking a female as she bleeds
And diseased
With blisters on your finger
From throwing bullets for peace

You know it’s bound to catch up
But you can’t stop
This candy
Is handy
To shut shit up

So I did her in
And now that mom is gone
There is no such thing as sin
Killing is easy
Forgetting
That’s a whole other thing.

Fickle "Before" & "After"

2008-03-04T08:48:00.000-08:00

Fully aware
Conscience
Yet mentally inert
Stuck in a dream state
So reality can’t hurt
Thinks
Thoughts
To bring the other’s demise
They don’t know where they belong in each other’s minds
So they play these games
Guessing
The approximate time
That forever will come
So the two can stop
Being one

It stars like everyday USED to start
He wakes up
With his palm on her heart
Only now
She puts it there
So she won’t fall apart

Gets up and kisses her cheek
She stretches in place
Acting weak
Moaning as if
The kiss was too sweet
As noise escape her lips
In a smiling melody
But umm
That’s not reality

He lifts his palm
And nudges her out of sleep

They walk to the washroom
Giggling like kids
He brushes his teeth
As she takes a piss
He farts to make her feel like a lady
But of course she’s obligated to respond
“That’s nasty baby”
And lets out a bomb
But lately

She does not budge out bed
She waits for him to finish up instead
As she ignores his stares
And pretends to be asleep
Putting on his own tie
And gets ready to leave

He goes in the kitchen
Makes her tea
Leaving post it notes
On top of her seat
Texting instructions
As he pretends to leaves
All while she bathes
Knowing he aint gone leave
It’s 8:15
That’s 20 free Minutes
According to the long hand
Walks into the shower
Being the “helpful” man
Helping her reach places
She can’t by her self

But nower days
There’s never time left
No text
No note
Tea
Or reason to bet
She is still in bed
And 8:15
Means he’s 15 minutes late

See
Once upon a time
They loved each other FOREVER
DEEPLY
In infinite folds that would end
NEVER
But now it seems
Pieces of each other can’t last that long
They had a destination
Yet something went wrong
Excuses were made
And strengths were ignored
They spent too much in a dream
And now it would seem
All the cute little things
That “once upon a time”
Were sweet as hell
Torture this queen

Interferes with the dream
And is simply
Disgusting

And to him
She is no longer
The sweet little thing
That “once upon a time”
Inspired dreams
And made reality of unrealistic schemes

They now sit
With immobile hearts
Waiting on forever
Too scared to just ask
“What went wrong
How can WE fix it?”
Fearing the “Fear OF”
Too scared to risk it
Thinking paradise was a cake
And they would just receive

With out having to give

Full Moon

2008-02-29T08:56:00.000-08:00

As Day draws night
And night paints dawn
She patiently sits
Awaiting his arm

Not every fairy tale
Has a story worth telling
And most love stories
Don’t have a fairy tale ending

She knew this
Yet too loyal to leave
And he blew it
He’s too arrogant to see
That she
Is all that he’ll ever need
But he
Cannot tame his own greed

The sun sets without coming to realize
That the moon only knows the beauty
Resonating from his lies

She’s royal
Loyal
And too pleasant to see
That the sun never sets
It only knows its greed
Yet stagnant
And cannot be pleased.

Letting Her Softly

2008-02-22T22:32:00.000-08:00

I was sitting on stage
Reciting her letters
Page by page
To make her feel better
Becoming that Sage
That just wouldn’t let her…

Fall Apart

Too much wise
Yet not enough grace
As each word
Melodically
Falls into place
And I look up
Catching
A glimpse of her face…

But I shouldn’t have

Too much Beauty
Elegantly
Falling to pieces
As if words
Could do
More than needed

She got the point
That I missed

I saw sweat
Dripping out of her iris

as she sat there
Too shocked to hide it…

And I didn’t

I finally understand
The smile and the fear
The bumps in the journey
That never seems to
Disappear
The hurt and the rage
That kept slipping out the mouth
Of that foolish sage
As I recite poetry
Manifesting from her page
And now her tears…

As I signal with my eyes
That the end was near

I wanted to stop
But I simply could not
And she never left
Allowing more tears to drop

Until

The last bead was trapped at the base of her chin
And I stopped…

Being him

To be Hers

Wiping off the last remnants
Of a pointless scar
As she finally realizes
No one knew it’s about her
As a matter of fact
No one likes my poetry
So it was just her and me

Alone

Together
In a stadium full
Of empty seats
And plenty of room to breathe
With me.

Jane Was

2008-02-20T14:55:00.001-08:00

Jane was a “GOOD GIRL”
In a world of bad guys and good cops

Like this one cop
Who wore flip-flops
At nighttime
When he came into her room
In his right mind
And stole

From her shrine

“Daddy don’t do that”

Was not a request to him
It was just a suggestion
And she was just guessing

“May be he didn’t know”

That this is breaking and entering
And since he was the law
She just stops begging him

He was the good guy
In everyone else’s eyes
Only she saw fangs
When ever he smiled
So she stopped

BEING

See
Jane WAS
But no longer is

Grew into a shell
That no longer permits
For any form of attachments to exist

Just Imagine

Origin is forever
And bloodlines don’t erase
And no matter how much she tries
She cannot escape

This is her fate
This is a bond
That no one can break

See
Virginity aint shit
No one truly cares for that
But once innocence is stolen
There’s no way to give it back

And being that
This was her example
Of how all men SHOULD act

Well you try and guess
Where Jane’s mind is at

She is not the typical
Yet her beauty decays
Finding melodic excuses
To let her self stray
So in tune with her heart
That it HAS TO BE okay

As her heart breaks itself
Yet has plenty of smiles to display

Being that “GOOD GIRL”
Everyone wants to see
So in tune with everyone else’s needs
Just like the one cop
Named “Daddy”

Custom Made

2008-02-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

Like a whore with a dream
Or a fool with a scheme

She waits
With an abundant source of hope
She claims to know her fate
Her destiny

Her location

She is falling apart
Yet so patient

It’s so amazing

Such misleading knowledge
She so proudly clings to
Mere men can’t understand
She says, “kings do”

When asked, “king who?”
She does not know
But knows he’s 6’2”
Broad shoulders
Looks good
And probably a lawyer
Or a baller
But whatever the case
Cash aint an issue

He’s respectful
A little wise too
And she would be…
Well she’d be the wife who’s
Lady like in public
Yet fucks like a dream
A whore behind locked doors
Yet a self professed queen

Sad but true
I saw the plans
To be honest with you…
I almost envy this man
But I know I'm not him
So I step out of her bed
As she sits again
Awaiting her hand tailored king
Such is the story of her life
Never Ending.

Doing like the script says

2008-02-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

It can’t feel good
Knowing it’ll end on a stumbles
Mentally “hood”
Stuck in a hustle
But really
We both know you’re being hustled

“Such is the life”
He tries to confess
I simply nod
Since excuses sound best
Coming out of his lips
And not my own
My mind is well equip
And my heart is stone

Mistakes are for fool
Who refuse to learn
And seeing as there is no use
On continually being burned
I’m stepping out the kitchen

Is it a weakness?
May be
But lately
It would seem to me
I will out live most of the fuckery
That consumes most of the “G’s”
And the G’s who evade it
Are playing the fools like violins

So melodic

A disorderly logic
That makes sense when man places his honor
In another mans hands
Defining to you
Who or what
Is a “MAN”

It can’t feel good knowing you’re being hustled
But it’s not your role to think
You’re just the muscle.

I wish I had a river.

2008-02-05T22:04:00.001-08:00

I wish I had a river
Every time I was with her

So I can swim in it freely
Without the alarming feeling

Of salt
In my eyes

In my eyes

I wish I had a river
Whenever I was with her
While tears burned her cheeks
Explaining in her speech

“It’s your fault
And your lies
You lie”

I wish I had a river
Cause I can’t cry with her
Since I love her in a form
That can’t be misinformed
While she tries so hard
To find the bad card
Shuffling through my deck
Hoping to entice
A form of disrespect
So her defense has a reason

To exist
But they miss

Problem is
She gave me a reason
To move on
She’s leaving
And wont
Return home
And I have siblings
To anchor
And repair
She knows what’s at stake
But pretends not to care
“You don’t want to come”
She tries to lay blame
In order to entice my offensive
So she can play her defensive game

I wish I had a river
Cause emotions seem to trigger
The response she seeks
But my wishes are useless
When reality sets in
And rivers mark her cheeks
As I cry
In my
Deteriorating dreams
But she didn’t want that
She wanted a running stream
So now
I wish I had THAT river.

Bad Timing

2008-02-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

This is just a bad time
The timing is all flawed

I wanted to see her heart
But that item was all clawed
Betrayed and hurt
So she grew in withdrawal
And questions her worth

“That was then though”

Her passive words

So
I have come to know
That This….
Is just a bad time
And I…..

Must be out of my mind
To want an item
That is not yet complete
She knows she likes me
But I can’t compete
As I will lose
And losers
Always weep
So she approaches me
Offensively
With a defensive mind frame
To Force a retreat

See
He was there before me
So her heart
sees him
As priority
Her mind says to me
“She is kind of over him”
But the Soul shows
It’s an impossibility
As the soul homes
A small part of him
So she pushes me
And I hope reluctantly

Cause there are times I can feel
Her heart beat against me
Well Actually
Let me say barely
But defiantly feel it
Against My fingerprints
As they travel her face
Right over her lingering blinks
Almost in touch
With her heart
But then she starts to think
Then my fingers get beaten
As her heart starts to sprint
Beating too fast
To walk hand in hand
So I get left behind
And I understand
I mean don’t get me wrong
We did just meet
And I haven’t stayed long enough
To have something concrete
So when my heart feels shock
My mind asks
“What’s wrong?”
As I have no place
To feel more than “like”
Like
I like you
And you like me
Right?
As we grin and smile through our short lived nights
Hoping to move forward
But scared that we just might
Fit all too well
To be just in “like”
And that’s just….
Well that’s just not right

So this is bad timing
And not that I care
Or even tried to mind it
Cause time is something
I wont get back
So rarely
Do I spend time
Looking back
At
What went wrong
And what I wish
I could take back
All I know is
Right now
I'm right on track
But then again
It takes two
So I’m just laid back
Like driftwood
Hoping that the waves
Lead me back
Going with a flow
Of uncharted maps
I never felt this before
So I'm just hoping
Not to get trapped
As I don’t want to leave yet
So I’ll just lay here
Go with a flow
That the breeze sets
And as she works on the maps
To find her way
I just enjoy the ride
Induced in small naps
Till the light of day
With her lips
ear
and cheek in hand
And her smile in my sights
Like she hopes to expand
And direct me to her place
By give me
my own piece of land
A ‘REAL’ “ey stay”
In her soul
Stamp that vacancy sign
With my big red “SOLD”
As I kiss her face
As if I was her man
I see she’s smiling
But….
This is
Just
Bad timing.

Noisy nights

2008-01-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

He Sits
Listening to summer breeze
Stroke Moonlit trees
It’s no surprise
He can’t sleep

She’s not there
So no dream can be sweet
Saying
“You’re not here baby
So these dreams aren’t for keeps”

His eyes still want her
As his heart and mind biker
About which method to use
In order to over come her

His soul though

His soul feels lonesome
Almost striped
But it knew there was a pretty good chance for this
So instead
It sits
Listening to his heart beat
Against his better sense
Choosing to care
Just a little longer
As his thoughts get stronger
And heart gets louder

And his soul
Laughs
Remembering
His grand father warning
“Do not listen to the crickets at night
When they’re bickering

Because they wont let you sleep”

To think
He has a cricket in my skull
And another in his chest
As his soul sits and listens
Only torturing itself

14 Karats

2008-01-27T10:28:00.000-08:00

She is like a stagnant lake
Cause in her silent state
The depth behind that elegant face
Can only be measured
With two feet

And solely up to her
When death and you meet
But when she spares you
It’s a feeling well sweet

See
I’ve drowned before
But never had time to panic
Dove in her chest head first
But she was kind of passive
And I was determined

To come up with a stone
A bolder rather
That she kept well hidden in her home

I was a young teen
Eager to have a home
But you can’t trade hearts
If she wants to be alone

But this stagnant lake
Reflected my soul
Identical
My better half
And weather she knew or not
She was going to love me back
We were going to trade hearts
And she would protect me

Rather mine
Cause I was yet to be “hurt”
Both of heart and mind

I mean
There was this one time
But that don’t compare
To a love so divine
That it was timeless
Without conditions and reason
It was flawless

And yo
My heart was nice
I mean this little thumper
Was nurtured in paradise
It had gadgets
And gardens
And an assortment of shit
Not pearls or Diamonds
Just a humble gold locket
That my heart was nestled in

See
I love bracelets
But she wore short sleeves
And where we lived
There were too many thieves

And to leave my heart all exposed like that
WAS A “NO NO”

But with a locket
No one would REALLY know
I mean you could guess all you want
I aint gone boast
And if nestled in her stagnant calm
No ripple big enough could have me exposed

And this young soul
Had already stated
“You should not trust me
Do not swim here
I will drown you
So you should fear
And leave….
Please”

But even after I left
She kept my locket on
And well hidden

And I would often reflect
On that one stone
I was given
She homed my heart
Weather she liked it or not
And I hers
Weather I liked it or not

And I finally realized what I should have said
When she asked me to leave
“I will love you forever” was a mistake to say
When she said please
I should have done like the locket read
“I love you”
But only Together instead

Haiku for thought

2008-01-23T08:29:00.001-08:00

“Mislead”

Docile rose follows
Falling prey to the sun’s light
Dying a slave’s death

“Herbsman”

Blind chameleons
Do not Reflect mans color
But his intentions

“Catch and release”

I was never yours
Because you never absorbed
My pouring heart’s call

“I Love You”

I let words escape
Between lips and cheeks
And yet I still can’t say it